


Young Love

by VioletEnigma



Series: The Dragon Hearts Series [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Archery, Elves, F/M, Friendship, Horses, Humans, Jousting, Magic, Noble gossip, Pre-Origin Story, Seer, Servants, Tournaments, Underage Drinking, nobles - Freeform, self discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 16:36:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 30,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15755622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletEnigma/pseuds/VioletEnigma
Summary: Ten years before the blight hit Fereldan, Elissa Cousland was just a young noble struggling with her duties among the nobility and the duty to herself. Her abilities in combat are unusual for a young woman of her status, especially when she has an older brother who is the future heir of the Teyrnir. Nathaniel fights his father's caustic temperament while his feelings for the Spitfire grow. Elissa and Nathaniel meet again at her family's annual tournament. This story will span the decade leading up to the blight.Pre-Origins story, with multiple POVs. Rating subject to change as the story advances.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this story a long time ago, but then rewrote most of it for the Nanowrimo challenge in November of 2017, unfortunately my life as a mother pulled me away from the story about halfway through the month and I was unable to actually complete the story. My daughter felt like I had abandoned her (I hadn't) and began to act out whenever I sat down to write (even when my husband was home to care for her), but I would still go back and write occassionally, and now I'm in the process of finishing it, because I need to do this. For me. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think, I love feedback.
> 
> This work has no beta, and I do not own Dragon Age, I'm merely dabbling.

**Prologue**

 

“There are men who embrace destiny; these are the ones that change the world forever.” * Flemeth

 

A long time ago, in ages past, it was believed that once in a great many generations a human was born who possessed the heart of a dragon when the world needed them most. They are chronicled as being formidable, courageous, and beautiful, with a wisdom beyond their ken. While those that gained their favor or even their love knew only good fortune, status and steadfast protection. While it would be easy to say these touched never knew heartbreak, it is the challenges these sacred souls rose up to meet and defeat that makes these people truly great.

 

Sadly all records of these blessed beings have been lost, a dynasty from ages long since passed, forgotten and scattered on the winds of time.

 

However, we now find ourselves on the cusp of an age when three such souls are born with these sacred dragon hearts. Entwined but separate, being pulled towards an even greater purpose. And the world will tremble at their feet for the changes these souls shall mete.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

**Elissa**

 

My eyes opened, blinking blearily at the morning light softly filtering in through the newly servant opened curtains. I stared at the shafts of slanted light and the bits of dust swirling and floating like fairies of lore on the pale golden beams before I remember what day it was: the first day of my family’s annual tournament. I leapt from bed with a squeal of excitement, rushing through my room to get ready for my morning’s archery practice. My family’s annual tournament was a point of pride for Highever, and despite my Mother’s reluctance even though I was of age, Father was allowing me to compete in the tourney’s archery portion. Mother didn’t think it right that a lady of the nobility should compete in a common tournament, but in the end even she relented, disgruntledly. In truth, she would rather I sat in our family’s box, hair and dress just so, and do nothing more physical than wave my handkerchief in quiet exultation for the winner of each joust. 

 

I stuck my tongue out at the thought, I doubt I would ever be that kind of lady of the house. I was more likely to get down in the mud and dirt with the people and help them out while issuing commands than trust some messenger to not muck it up in the process. Mother always claimed I am just like her when she was my age: independent, willful, and fiercely loyal to family, but I couldn’t imagine Mother being as I. She always had the correct thing to say in any given situation while I struggled with even the most basic of conversations and manners.

 

I will admit, reluctantly, that I was the spitting image of my Mother: dark auburn hair that only looked red in direct sunlight, pale skin that currently bore a light tan due to all my practice with archery, a straight skinny nose, large emerald eyes, and a small, full mouth Father often accused of looking impertinent in his affectionate tone. I was gawky currently, always feeling like my limbs were too long, but Mother swore I would grow into my figure. One day. One day couldn’t come soon enough, as far as I was concerned, but I was proud to be my Mother's daughter mostly because it was Mother that had first taught me to use a bow. So the Teyrna couldn't hold it against me that I wanted to compete. I wanted to prove to Mother that I was just as good, could defend my home if needed and still be the lady of the house she was training me to be when I was not practicing my archery.

 

Once I was dressed in my leathers, chest guard, arm guard, and gloves, part of my hair pulled back and tied with a bit of leather, I grabbed my bow and quiver from the stand in my room and made my way to the archery butts to practice for an hour, maybe more if I could get away with it. My passage through the hallways was mostly undisturbed. Servants rushed about the castle, trying to finish last minute preparations to get the grounds ready for the hustle and bustle that came with the tournament.  Several long-traveled nobles, their families and their retinue, including our family friends the Howes, were already housed inside the castle, adding to the mix of activity. A servant girl with a fruit basket full to practically bursting rushed down the hall as fast as the container would allow, my quick hand easily plucked an apple from the pile without disturbing the fruit or her progress down the hall. I quickly stowed the apple in a pouch at my belt, before picking up my pace and trying to disappear to the Archery Yard before Mother found me to perform some task or the other.

 

I was thankful for the quiet yard, it was still early enough that most of the nobles were still abed, and the guardsmen would be busy with tasks around Highever. I found a target quickly, moving to an easy starting distance, and pulled six arrows from my quiver, planting them in a line in the ground. My morning practices were never about speed, always my form. I had only been working on my skills with a bow for about a year now and I liked to cover the basics early to warm my body as exercise. I gripped my bow in my left hand, and pulled one of the arrows in the ground with my right. Putting the arrow in place on the string, and I pulled the string back to my cheek to site down the arrow to my target. I kissed the fletching of the arrow, as had become a habit for my morning routine, took a breath in and then as I started to release my breath, I also loosed the arrow.

 

I watched the arrow sail through the air, striking the target but just to the left of the outer ring. I sighed quietly, already reaching for another arrow trying not to let my frustrations get the better of me. I continued shooting, until my six arrows were embedded in the target, the final two in the center ring. As the last arrow struck home, my reverie was broken by clapping.

 

I whirled in surprise, a few wisps of hair escaping from my hasty bun with the quick movement. Standing near the only tree in the yard was another leather clad, handsome young man.

 

 _Where did that come from? Handsome, psh._ I scoffed at myself.

 

His dark hair was tied back in a rather severe ponytail, a sneering smile teased at full lips pulled thin with the movement, and he had a rather unfortunately large nose set between deep-set, captivating silver eyes.

 

“You might have more luck with your shot if you didn’t kiss the fletching just before your release,” he sneered at me, his deep voice reverberated through my body despite the tone it bore.

 

“And what would you know?” I shot back, hating his tone of voice even while it awoke something within me. I felt my lips turn down in disapproval as he began to walk towards me.

 

“I know a little,” he walked languidly, his movement fluid and graceful. _Dangerous._ His look seemed familiar but I was confused why I couldn’t place him, I thought I knew everyone staying within the castle and his excellently crafted leathers suggested a noble of some higher standing. Yet his name, and by extension his family, eluded me.

 

“Only a little?” I turned, trying to sort my thoughts and retrieve the arrows from my target. Once I was back in front of him, I thrust out my hand filled with arrows, perfectly balanced across my palm, at him. The command came so easily as I looked up at him in defiance. “Show me.”

 

He seemed unperturbed by my tone with him, in fact he appeared to find amusement in it as a slow, genuine smile grew, and he took my offered bow. He carefully examined my bow, and I felt myself bristle slightly from the careful scrutiny of my most prized possession. I knew it wasn’t the best weapon, just a standard bow Father bought in Denerim for me for my last name day, but it was mine and I took care of it with pride. He nodded in satisfaction before testing the draw of the bow.

 

 _At least he knows that much,_ I tried to ignore the hypnotic pull of his colorless eyes, while still trying desperately to piece together why he seemed so familiar.

 

He plucked an arrow from my still outstretched hand, managing not to disturb the others, before fitting it to the bow and drawing back. I couldn’t help but watch his form as I stepped around to his front. His stance was wide enough, shoulders set perfectly, arm outstretched but that’s when it began to fall apart. Once I finally looked at his face again, I realized his eyes were darting back and forth between the target and myself. All too soon, he let the arrow loose and I turned my head in time to watch it smash into the stone wall, inches from the target.

 

“Blast!” he bellowed at his intended target before his shoulders hunching in defeat.

 

“Yes, a little, I see,” hard laughter bubbled up before I could stop it, doubling me over, and forcing me to hold my side with my free hand. “If you have no other advice to offer, I would like to get back to practicing. Perhaps I could teach you a few things, if you have an interest.”

 

I watched his face contort in shame and rage thrusting my bow back into my arms, not even caring if I catch it before he whirls away in a flurry of drawn eyebrows, dark leather, and even darker hair. I tried to calm my laughter, not taking any joy in bringing shame to him but the humorousness of the situation wouldn’t let me. He had tried to tell me how to shoot, and while I could see the building blocks in his stance and actions, it was clear to me in that moment he knew even less than I.

 

His hasty, angry departure calmed my helpless laughter and I returned to my practicing. I retrieved another arrow from my quiver, since the handsome stranger destroyed the one he shot, and took up a stance five meters behind my starting distance. Setting up the arrows, I continued practicing. But found my vision haunted by a young man with raven-black hair and silver eyes. I finally had to stop practicing as more and more of my shots strayed to the edge of the target. All because of a silly, attractive boy whom I had laughed at. In that moment, I vowed to make it up to him if I ever saw him again. Somehow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

**Nathaniel**

 

Her bell-like laughter still haunted me as I left the butts, snatching up my hidden bow and quiver, helpless anger clouding my vision followed by a wave of gratitude that no one had been witness to my shame trying to teach her the proper way to shoot. Father had been right to send me to Denerim to squire, even now rash decisions were getting me in trouble if all it took was a pair of emerald eyes to make all rational sense flee my mind. I needed to remember the last four years of training during this tournament or I would feel my father’s wrath when we departed. 

 

I had thought it early enough in the morning to practice my archery alone, but it had been a pleasant surprise to see the auburn haired archer. Her hair dappled by the branches from the enormous trees scattered around the yard that I remember providing excellent shade once the leaves bloomed. Her movements had been practiced, precise though unseasoned. I watched with amusement as she kissed the fletching each time before releasing the arrow and knew that little movement alone cost her a true target strike. While offering advice, I notice her whole demeanor change, and she adopted a commanding air, ordering me to prove my knowledge.

 

I found myself wondering if I had just encountered Fergus’s little sister, whose name currently escaped me as I stalked through the Highever castle’s hallways, reining in my anger before I came across any of my family or the other members of nobility surely wandering about. The halls were blessedly absent of nobility, and the only people I saw were the random servants flitting about in unknown tasks trying their best to remain unseen. Though it had been years since I had stepped foot in these halls, I still remembered my way to the great hall, and where I would no doubt find a veritable feast laid out to break my fast.

 

Upon entering the hall, I was struck with the sheer number of tables filling the space but I quickly located the head table where my family always had the distinct honor of dining with our hosts. I made my way to the table, seeing only my sister, Delilah, in attendance at the moment. Her dark hair was pulled up and away from her face, no doubt a demand of my Mother’s, in a style so complicated even I couldn’t tell how it had been done. Thomas was no doubt in his room nursing a hangover after a late night drinking with a few of our family’s castle guards.

 

We shared a few pleasantries as I sat at the table before silence fell like a heavy, comfortable curtain over the two of us, my quiver and bow slung carefully over the back of my chair.. My fingers itched to fill a plate with the food laid out on the table as hunger gnawed at my belly, but I knew neither of my parents would look kindly on beginning before our host had arrived so I was forced to sit and wait. My thoughts inevitably turning to my morning nemesis. I was still struck by my folley, getting caught up in a pretty face, instead of my technique. It was a mistake I hoped to never experience again. I was so lost in my own musings, I almost missed the arrival of my parents and the Teryn and Teryna but recovered enough to greet them properly before tucking into a full plate of food. I followed the conversations taking place well enough, but didn’t take part as I wanted to practice once more which meant finishing my meal as quickly as possible. That plan stalled wonderfully when  _ she _ walked into the great hall.

 

Gone were the leathers, the bow with quiver and arrows, and other archer’s equipment. In their place was a deep blue dress worked with silver thread in the Cousland family crest, showing off the family’s wealth. Her long auburn hair was no longer pulled partially back, escaping the hasty leather thong, now it was gathered in a complicated braid that carved a crooked path down the back of her head before it hung over her shoulder in a thick rope nearly reaching her waist. I was struck with the sudden change, how she seemed to seamlessly fit both roles and agog at my inner demons wanting to wrap that rope of hair around my fist while forcing those full lips to stretch around my suddenly hard cock.

 

She greeted her mother and father with warm affection, before her father, the Teryn, granted her an indulgent dismissal. She quickly scampered, shrieking painfully, to my sister Delilah. I tried not to watch the two chatter away about seemingly nothing before my sister finally remember to introduce me to “the Cousland Pup.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

**Elissa**

 

I hated the dress Mother had made special for the tournament, it was a silver underdress with a deep blue overdress worked with silver embroidery and our family crest running up and down the sleeves. She made me swear and promise in as many languages as I could speak to wear it everyday while our family played host to our guests. I would have felt more at ease in knickers and a leather vest, but no: it wasn’t proper for a young noblewoman. So here I was in a dress, and it took all of my willpower while the servants were dressing me not to shudder after returning to my room. I was more than capable of getting myself dressed but it was Mother’s way of ensuring I was dressed “appropriately.”

 

Even though I had managed to steal some bread and cheese from the kitchen on my way to getting ready after practice, I knew that both of my parents would expect me to appear at the morning meal to greet our guests so I set out for the great hall. I immediately noticed Delilah, my best friend and childhood companion, sitting at the table but proper etiquette meant I needed to greet Mother and Father first.

 

"Good morning Mother," I said walking over to the portion of the table where mother and father were sitting.

 

"Darling, that dress suits you just like I knew it would," she glowed, giving me a hug. "But why did you do your hair so plain?"

 

"I needed something that I could still wear while competing this afternoon," I explained to her.

 

"Oh, of course," she remembered, waving one of her hands at her own forgetfulness.

 

"Good morning Pup," father greeted me, pulling me into a fierce hug.

 

"Father," I greeted him warmly, kissing him on the cheek. "Is everything ready for today?"

 

"I believe Fergus is seeing to any last minute details but yes I believe all is prepared. Why don't you go ahead and sit with Delilah, I know it's been several months since you have seen each other."

 

I turned toward my best friend, and she stood up, merriment and happiness making her eyes dance. I hear the squeal, usually so unlike me erupted from my lips, matched by Delilah’s own, as we hurried to greet each other with hearty hugs.

 

“Lalah!”

 

“Elie!”

 

Our childhood nicknames for each other fell so easily from our lips, even after all these years as we continued to fiercely hug each other.

 

“Oh, I’ve missed you,” I whispered into her ear, knowing the strength of her hug means the same thing. “It’s been too long, promise we won’t go this long without seeing each other again.” I finally break away from the hug, taking her hands and searching her grey colored eyes.

 

“I will do my best,” my friend intoned, solemn now while making as close to a promise as the great distance between our homes would allow in winter. “It was a harsh winter this year, travel was practically impossible. Perhaps my parents will allow you to come home with us to spend a few weeks in Amaranthine once the tournament is over.”

 

We both look towards both sets of parents, duplicate looks of hope and begging mirrored on our faces. My Father let out a loud chuckle that resounded throughout the great hall, while my mother shook her head slightly a faint smile tugging at her lips. I dared not look at Delilah’s parents, knowing their strict nature.

 

“We shall see,” Mother answered enigmatically before elaborating. “If you can stay on your best behavior and the Arl and Arlessa agree, I see no reason why not.”

 

Delilah sighs beside me, knowing my struggles with proper etiquette before finally whispering so only I could hear: “I’ll help you, there is so much to talk about, I can’t be parted from you just yet.”

 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Nathaniel is back from Denerim,” Delilah seamlessly changed topics, motioning towards another figure I hadn’t noticed at the table. “He’s been away for the last four years training and studying. And you and your brother weren’t here to greet us when we arrived last night, your mother made some oddly vague excuse for your absences.” 

 

I scarcely heard another word from Delilah as I clapped eyes on the young man from this morning in the archery butts. He was still dressed in his leather armor, his pale eyes alight with amusement and another emotion I couldn’t name as he looked back at me.

 

“We’ve met,” his voice sent a shiver down my spine. “It’s good to see you again.”

 

“H-how? When?” Delilah looked between us, mouth open in surprise. “The day’s barely begun.”

 

“At the archery butts this morning,” I forced myself to break eye contact with Nathaniel, turning and focusing on my best friend instead, motioning to her abandoned chair. “He gave me an archery lesson I’ll not soon forget.” I looked across the table at my fellow archer, the frown marring his face obvious to see, as I sat in the seat next to Delilah. “I must beg your forgiveness, I was a terrible hostess this morning. It’s been so long since I saw you last, I couldn’t place a name with your face, I meant no offense for my actions this morning.”

 

“I forgot you let your daughter partake in such a masculine endeavor like weapon training,” Arlessa  Eliane Bryland interrupted, the sneer evident in her voice despite her passive face. “Are your guards so poorly trained that your own children must learn to fight like commoners? I will never understand why you let her be distracted from the duties she will need to perform as a wife in the future."

 

"Forgive the impertinence Arlessa," I spoke up boldly. "But one can learn both."

 

"I beg your pardon, how can you possibly learn all that you will need to take care of an estate and add weapons training on top of it all? My Delilah scarcely has a moment to herself outside of her lessons.”

 

"Mother gives me a few hours a day that I can use for an activity of my choice, I spend it learning archery."

 

While speaking with the Arlessa, I noticed Nathaniel smiling at me, which surprised me greatly given his attitude this morning. My eyes flicked in his direction and he winked at me before going back to eating his breakfast. I could feel my cheeks warm slightly as I reached for a pitcher of water.

 

"My daughter is correct, I do allow her a few hours a day for an activity of her choice. And I think the reason she chose archery is my fault, since I was also an archer in my day," my mother confirmed for me, smiling affectionately in my direction. "Elissa, why don't you grab some food from the kitchen for Fergus, I'm sure he hasn't eaten yet in all the excitement of the day. He should be at the tournament grounds."

 

"Of course Mother," I stood up to leave. Despite her words, I knew she was using her unique talent to diffuse the situation with the rather hostile Arlessa. I was all too happy to leave Nathaniel and hurried back to the kitchen to have Nan, my old governess, prepare a basket for Fergus.

 

I grabbed my fur-lined cloak and gloves from my room, knowing there was still a touch of winter's chill in the air beyond the heated stonework of the castle. I packed up my leathers and arranged for a surprisingly eager Squire Gilmore to bring my pack, bow and quiver to the tournament grounds when he came later with our family. Then I went to the kitchens to get Nan's assistance with the food for Fergus. Nan had recently been given the job under Tessa, the head cook, when my parents deemed I was old enough to no longer need a nanny after my fourteenth name day. Tessa was a few years from retiring, and Nan was busy learning all she could before Tessa left our service. The kitchen was in an uproar trying to get everything prepared. There were more faces than normal filling the counters making breads, sweets, pies, cakes, preparing vegetables, and other requirements, most last minute additions demanded by the nobility visiting for the tournament. Nan quickly had a basket prepared, once she learned my reason for imposing upon her bustling kitchen, then quickly pushed me out muttering under her breath.

 

I made my way to one of the wagons that would shuttle people back and forth from the tournament grounds and the castle. Dairrel, our stable head, assisted me into the front seat with him, before taking a load of food that would be served to the noble families throughout the day. Normally I would have used my own horse, but with the dress mother insisted I wear today, that wasn't going to happen. It was a short but enjoyable ride through town from the castle to the outskirts where the tournament had been set up. Most of the shops were closed for the day with the exception of the few inns and taverns, which were doing more business than they saw on a normal day. The tournament was the town's major attraction for the year, and those stores that were closed usually had their wares on display during the tournament at the fairgrounds. I couldn't help but smile at the flush, excited faces of the people on the streets strolling towards the tournament grounds. I heard many a cheerful "my lady" in greeting as the wagon lumbered through the cobbled streets. After jumping from the wagon, causing Dairrel to chuckle lightly at my impatience, I was able to find Fergus in the center of the jousting ring, directing a couple servants about bunting.

 

"Well baby sister, how does it look?" Fergus greeted me when I stood next to him after handing him the basket of food.

 

"I'm not a baby," I replied punching him in the arm.

 

"Ow, and not a lady either to be hitting that hard," he smirked, rubbing his arm in pain. "But you didn't answer my question."

 

"I think the people will enjoy it, I haven't seen the whole of the grounds yet," I admitted reluctantly. "I'm sure you've blundered somewhere."

 

"Shall I take you on a tour? I would love to prove you wrong."

 

"You can try," I replied impishly as he led the way through the rest of the tournament grounds. "How are things progressing with Oriana?"

 

"Better now that mother has stopped meddling in my courting," Fergus chuckled, leading me around the melee grounds, eating as we went. "She'll be attending the tournament with her parents this week."

 

"I'm sure Mother will try to push for negotiations while they are here," I quipped.

 

"Andraste preserve me," Fergus muttered around the food in his mouth. "I haven't even asked her father's permission yet and already Mother is pushing for babies."

 

"She just wants to see you happy," I smirked as I looked out over the melee pens. The melee grounds were a series of four fenced in pens five meters square where two combatants would face each other one on one. They used blunted swords, and extra padding under their armor to prevent death and serious injury. The first person to reach ten strikes or unarm their opponent was declared the winner of the match. Once the melee was completed, this same area would be used for fisticuffs and then wrestling. "Not that I'm sure you deserve it."

 

"Don't rib me too much," Fergus grinned, ignoring my comment. "In a couple years it'll be you she's pushing for babies."

 

I stuck my tongue out at the thought of mother parading the eligible nobles or their sons in front of me on my sixteenth name day, knowing it would also serve as my presentation to the Crown while announcing my eligibility for marriage. Of all the Orlesian customs to keep, I never understood why Cotillions survived after we drove Orlais from our borders. Fergus chuckled at my expression before steering me towards the fairgrounds where merchants, travelers, mages, bards, and even a seer were setting up their stalls to sell food, wares, and keep the people entertained when not watching the events during the tournament. I could see the fire pits beyond the stalls already roasting boar, chickens, a pig, turkeys, ducks, and a cow on spits for the opening feast tonight. There was more bunting marking off a vast area that would serve for the caber tossing, stone put, weight throw, and the grand melee. Servants darted between pavilions and other tents for the knights, templars, squires, and nobles who would be competing in the tournament.

 

Fergus finally led me to the archery area. It was set up well, a series of twenty targets lined up with markers at the predetermined distances. The final distance was a staggering two hundred meters. I had never shot that far by half before, and felt a brief flutter of fear grip my heart before I turned to look at my brother grinning next to me.

 

"Huh," I crossed my arms in front of me. "I guess you finally got something right."

 

Fergus choked on the water he was drinking, causing me to laugh softly as his eyes bugged. "Did you just admit to being wrong?" he finally sputtered out.

 

"The day's young, you may bugger something later," I replied nonchalantly leading the way back to the jousting arena, where we were to meet with the rest of the family for the opening ceremony and exhibition battle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

**Nathaniel**

 

I excused myself from the table after Elissa’s departure, hoping to catch up to her. But after leaving the dining room, she was nowhere to be seen. Since I didn't remember the castle that well, having not been here for more than four years, I headed back out to the practice yard to work on my archery again. There would be plenty of time to see Elissa this week and it would probably be best since I couldn’t seem to rid my mind of lascivious thoughts of her. I just had to be patient.

 

As I fired at the distant target, I couldn't help but smile remembering how she basically scolded my mother for her ignorance in the nicest possible way. There were few people who had the strength of character to stand up to my Mother, and fewer still who had the knowledge and wherewithal to stand toe-to-toe with her. It seemed that, despite rumors, Elissa was well on her way to be a leader just like her mother. When she glanced at me because of the smile on my face I couldn't help but wink at her in encouragement. The blush that colored her cheeks had been captivating, and I found myself wondering what the flush on her face would look like if we kissed.

 

“Nathaniel!” my Mother’s shrill screech pierced the quiet solitude of the butts around me. I had been gone too long, and now I would pay the price when we returned to Amaranthine.

 

_ I’ll worry about that later,  _ I thought to myself, moving to retrieve the arrows embedded in the center ring of the target.  _ At least we're both competing this afternoon, I can show her how good an archer I actually am. Hopefully I'll be far enough away from her, so she can't distract me further during the competition. I  _ will _ make Father proud of me today. _

 

***

 

We arrived at the tournament grounds an hour before the opening ceremony. I desperately wanted to check on the archery butts, but had to register quickly before the ceremony so as not to displease father with any measure of tardiness. The queue for registry was a mix of lesser nobles, templars and servants, all waiting to register. The air buzzing with excitement and mindless prattle I mostly ignored while waiting. I exchanged few words with those around me, much preferring to keep to myself. Once done, I made my way through the box, dodging people, carts, and horses. I found our two families standing together in the box, waiting for Teyrn Cousland to step forward and begin the ceremony before the opening exhibition.

 

"Nate my good man," I heard Fergus greet me as I stepped into the seating area. "It's good to see you again. It's been a long time."

 

"That it has, my friend," I shook his arm before he pulled me in for a bear hug. The two of us were less than a year apart and growing up we were inseparable, much as Elissa and Delilah. Fergus had celebrated his twentieth name day a couple months back and was rumored to be courting an Antivan merchant's daughter. "Will you be partaking this year in any events?"

 

"Father has placed me in charge of the tournament this year, I'm afraid I haven't time for much more than the melee," the eldest Cousland's mouth twisted with regret.

 

"No joust?"

 

"Too much time, the melee will be done in two days time at most," Fergus pointed out. "This way I can still participate in our family's tournament without monopolizing all of my time. And you?"

 

"Archery, though Father wished I would participate in the melee as well."

 

"I figured as much," Fergus chuckled. "My sister will be competing against you this year."

 

"Yes, I pieced that much together," I replied, looking past Fergus to see Elissa in deep conversation with my sister. "I saw her practice this morning. She has skill but makes many mistakes in her form. I tried to help her…"

 

"But she just laughed it away?" Fergus interrupted, filling in my unsaid words. "That sounds like our Pup."

 

"It is time," Bryce announced loudly enough to interrupt all the conversations taking place around him.

 

We moved to our seats and I notice Fergus move to the other side of the box, seating himself next to a young, beautiful blonde and a nervous looking couple who looked to be her parents behind them. Father and Mother were seated behind the unknown couple, and the disdain on their faces to be sitting so close to each other was clear to any who spared them attention. Thomas and Delilah shared the bench with Adria, our family's governess and I found myself sitting next to Elissa, which thrilled me to no end. Now that I had a chance to watch her again, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t remembered her. While growing up, I vaguely could recall a young, scabby-kneed girl who would pull my sister around after her, getting them both into all kinds of trouble hiding from Nan. Meanwhile the poor nanny would be at her wits end trying to track down the two girls, and then would wish she hadn't been so diligent in her search when she would discover my sister in tears because her best friend was covered in mud, dirt or twigs with soiled and usually torn clothes. She was now at an age where she was beginning to transform from the gawky, dirty child she had been into the graceful, commanding woman she would be, and if this stage of her metamorphosis was anything to go by: she would be the beauty of Fereldan.

 

I knew father wanted to tie our family with theirs; he had been plotting for awhile. Though I couldn't help but notice the way my little brother's face glowed whenever he glanced at the Cousland's youngest, I didn't think Thomas would ever get the chance to act out on his childhood crush. Elissa would be the catch of the realm, being only one of two Teyrns' daughters, and though her parents claimed they wanted their children to marry for love, I didn't see the thrilling beauty next to me falling for my brother. Though they had similar spirits, due to his younger age, it was obvious Elissa didn't view him in the same light as my brother's high regard.

 

While lost in my musings, the Teyrn had stepped to the forefront of the family's box, arms raised, waiting for the crowd to settle before beginning his opening speech.

 

"Friends and countrymen," Bryce finally started loudly when the crowd had quieted. "My family and I would like to welcome you to the annual Highever Tournament. As is tradition, any citizen of Fereldan who has reached the age of fourteen can compete in this event, no matter their station. This tournament is to celebrate camaraderie in competition while we remember those who sacrificed their lives to change this land for the better. To all those who shall compete, fight well and may the Maker smile upon you."

 

I was surprised at the length of the Teyrn speech; father would have rambled on for half an hour. The Couslands, though the power in the northern portion of Fereldan, were not big on pomp and circumstance, which truly showed in the simplicity of Bryce's speech. They ruled their people with a level head, and were not afraid to get their hands dirty. I found I envied them that trait, father instilled in us a knowledge we were better than those we led and should treat them as such. However, spending time with Fergus and seeing the way their people treated them, it made me wonder if my father had the wrong idea about such things.

 

The opening exhibition was the Battle of Gwaren, one of the many battles during the Orlesian occupation done by many of the soldiers in the Teyrn's army. After the mock battle, a set of squires made their way out carrying the standard of the nobles set to joust first. Soon the joust was in full tilt, and I got caught up in the cheering of the crowd when the match was complete. I was so caught up in the matches I didn't notice Elissa slip away until I turned to her to ask her opinion on the pair we just observed. Fergus happened to be walking behind me at the time, and I heard his unmistakable chuckle behind me.

 

"She probably left to change and prepare for the competition." He leaned against the back of the bench and spoke into my ear. "As should you and I, though we are part of different sections."

 

"Indeed," I found myself chuckling, as I stood and followed my friend. I had been invited to use their family's tent by the Teyrn, since I was the only one registered in my family to compete. As we entered the tent we could hear shuffling behind a privacy screen. I retrieved my bow and quiver from near the entrance on the weapon rack.

 

"Greetings my lords," a young maid greeted us, bowing from next to the privacy screen. "My lady will be out shortly."

 

"No hurry Niria," Fergus replied smoothly, barely sparing a glance to the screen, his sights set on the food set out in the tent. "I know how testy sister can be when her armor isn't right."

 

"Very funny," Elissa's voice groused behind the partition. "It's not my fault mother insisted I wear a dress when not competing. I would rather spend the day in my armor than traipse around in that thing but I'm a lady and should be seen as such in public."

 

Her voice at the end of her rant had become a mockery of her mother's which caused Fergus and me to glance at each other, not even bothering to hide our wide smiles at her words. After a few more moments, she emerges from behind the panel stretching her arms, readjusting to the feel of the leather against her, no doubt, delicate skin. While I found myself wondering what that skin would feel like beneath my fingers, and taste like against my tongue. I gave my head a slight shake, hoping it went unnoticed, in an effort to clear my sinful thoughts.

 

"Much better, thank the Maker for whomever invented trousers," she purred, a languid smile stretching across her full lips as she stepped up next to Fergus to munch on some cheese. "Thank you for the assistance Niria, feel free to enjoy the afternoon, I shouldn't need your services again until before the banquet."

 

"As you wish my lady," the elf curtseyed and then left the tent a jubilant smile across her delicate features at a free afternoon to enjoy the frivolities of the day.

 

"Mother will have something to say about that surely," Fergus warned his sister before stepping behind the screen with his armor and padding.

 

"I'm sure," the young woman snorted indignantly. "But only if I were to head back to the stands." She quickly grabbed the extra quiver and her bow before leaving the tent looking as though she was searching for someone. She came back a few moments later, a young lad trailing behind her. "I found Rory to assist you with all that armor Fergus."

 

"Thank the Maker," I heard Fergus' voice praise as the young lad stepped behind the separation.

 

"Eat," she ordered, a playful gleam in her eye. "You should remember the archery portion takes more time than the other categories. You may not get another chance until nightfall."

 

I chuckled my agreement, tucking in to the spread, despite the command. After eating some of the bread, cheese and salted meats the two of us made our way to the archery range. The judges arranged us into groups, before we filed out onto the field to take our marks at the target. We were each allowed five shots this round, but each round would allow fewer shots. The time passed quickly as I concentrated on my shots, making each count so as not to be eliminated so quickly. I found myself slightly thankful to be in a different group as Elissa, her presence still unnerved me, and made it difficult to concentrate when she was near. As dusk began to settle over the evening, the first round of competition was completed and I won a position in tomorrow's round. So had she...


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

**Elissa**

 

After completing the first round of the archery tournament, I was please to have been selected to continue to the next round. However, due to the lateness of the hour, I rushed to find Dairrel, knowing he was waiting with Niria to take me back to the castle to prepare for the opening feast. The three of us climbed into the wagon, and made our way to the castle as quickly as the cart would travel through the cobbled streets. Once we arrived at the castle, Niria was able to find another servant to help her in my getting ready. The two elves helped me bathe quickly and soon I found myself pinned and tucked to look the lady mother was training me to be.

 

Upon arriving back at the site of the bonfire with the last of the sun's light fading from the world, the musicians were already in full swing, a bevy of dancers twirling around the fire in time with the music. Which meant I had missed father's banquet speech and mother would be displeased for a short period tonight and in order to appease her I would have to dance with a nobleman's son or two. Although I found myself thinking that if Nathaniel asked me, it might not be too terrible a price. I was making my way to the barbeque pit in order to alleviate my hunger when my mother cornered me, her hawk-like eyes spotting me before I took more than a dozen paces.

 

"Where have you been?" she demanded in a soft hiss, taking in my appearance with her scrutinizing gaze. Those eyes, so like my own, didn't miss any details. And despite her initial grievance for my tardiness, I could tell my appearance repaired a little of her sore attitude.

 

"My apologies Mother," I curtsied, playing the part she desired in front of so many guests. "The first round of the archery match took longer than expected and I needed to change in order to prepare myself. I doubt you wanted me dressed in leathers and smelling of sweat and dust."

 

"Fine, fine," my mother waved away my apology and purposely ignoring my last impertinent comment, took my hand in hers and pulled me over to the only table, not covered in food, set up near the bonfire, where the rest of our family was located. "Father was waiting for you, we have to perform our dance still. I hope you didn't think you would get out of it simply by being late."

 

"Of course not," I tried to assure her, grimacing to myself, as father noticed our arrival and motioned to the minstrels.

 

"Pup, you had me worried," father stated as I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek by way of an apology. "Gilmore has been beside himself. Though I think he was hoping we would go on without you and he wouldn't have to do this dance."

 

"I n-n-never s-s-said-" Gilmore stammered, his face turning a brilliant shade of scarlet clearly visible in the glow of the roaring bonfire and scattered torches.

 

"It's alright," I told the squire just a scant two years older than myself. "I understand your grievances, I do not want to dance it either. However I know my brother can be irascible when forcing people into a corner."

 

"He-ey," my brother complained, drawing out the single syllable word in a whining tone. "I merely asked a few of the younger men and Gilly here practically stumbled over them all in order to volunteer."

 

"It is a great honor to dance with you, my lady," the ginger youth murmured, his face still a bright red as he stared down at his booted feet, scuffing them in the dirt in his shyness.

 

"I don't think honor is why you're doing this," Fergus replied enigmatically with a knowing smirk, which caused the young squire's head to shoot up and stare in horror at my brother.

 

I didn't have time to contemplate my brother's words or Gilmore's reaction before the music faded from the song the bards were currently playing. Our family became the center of attention, as we paired off: father with mother, Fergus with Oriana, and I with Gilmore.

 

"You'll be fine," I assured the youth in front of me as the beginning cords of the song began and I curtsied to him.

 

I tried to get swept up in the music, tried to forget the way practices had gone up to this point but sadly my attempts were in vain as just a few bars into the song I had Gilmore's heavy boot landing on my slipper. I grunted in pain as my toes were smashed under the weight of his foot, tears of pain pricking my eyes as I suffered through his stumbling. I felt the sudden need to kill my brother for finding this clumsy youth, even if he did volunteer.

 

This number was one my family had been doing for as long as I could remember. Though I used to dance it with Fergus when we were younger, now I was forced to find a new partner with the introduction of Oriana this year. My brother had set out finding a partner for me as soon as the Antivan woman agreed and apparently found a very eager squire more than willing to fill the roll. However determined he was while learning the choreography, it became apparent he was shockingly clumsy as he continued to miss steps and danced more on my toes than on the floor.

 

I tried to still my petty thoughts, knowing it was not the ginger boy's fault for not catching on faster, never having danced the steps before, unlike Fergus and I who had been dancing since I was old enough to remember the series of moves. 

 

"I'm s-s-sorry, m-m-m-my l-lady," the squire muttered, the blush renewing across his freckled cheeks.

 

"It's fine," I attempted to reassure him through gritted teeth in what I could only hope could be seen as a smile.

 

My need to hurt Fergus grew as each bar of music passed and Gilmore continued to step on my toes. I felt more tears grow as the pain of each misstep from my partner seemingly made the song last an eternity. I was so caught up in trying to maintain my composure that I almost missed the gasp echo through the crowd. I saw a large hand clap down on my partner's shoulder, causing the squire to pause and glare at the person interrupting us.

 

"May I cut in?" Nathaniel queried, trying to fight a knowing smirk from emerging on his lips.

 

Surprise and shock engulfed me as I watched Gilmore step back to allow Nathaniel the chance to dance with me. My thoughts raced in a confusing jumble as I stared at the eldest Howe bowing in front of me and offering me his hand. In truth, Gilmore, a mere soldier, would have to cede his place as my dance partner to a noble, but to do so in this very public, very observed, setting would be a tremendous blow to anyone’s ego.

 

"My lady?" Nathaniel prodded gently, stilling my racing thoughts and bringing me back to myself.

 

I final took his hand and he swept me away, his steps certain and surprisingly light as we danced. I was aware of the ginger squire scowling out of the corner of my eye before he melted into the crowd and I vowed to find him later and ask him to partner with me for a slower song, hoping it would soothe his probable bruised ego.. Even though I felt bad for Gilmore, I couldn't help relaxing as Nathaniel lead me with such surety through the motions of the complex dance. I tried to ignore the way I felt in the strength of his arms how a feeling of rightness settled over me while moving with him.

 

I noticed Fergus watching us, as we twirled around each other, his normally expressive face surprisingly unreadable with his mouth set in a grim line that bordered on disapproval. While Mother and Father seemed to enjoy the ease with which we danced together, and I couldn't help but notice the appraising gleam in my Mother's eyes as she watched us together.

 

The jaunty tune ended too quickly and despite my best intention, I found myself remaining in Nathaniel's arms as the last note faded into the night.

 

"Thank you," I breathed, my whisper of a voice surprising me despite the gratitude I felt for the eldest Howe in the rescue of my mildly bruised toes.

 

"It was a pleasure, my lady."

 

"Elissa," I supplied, his addressing me as 'my lady' making me cringe inwardly. "Please Nathaniel, call me Elissa."

 

"Elissa," Nathaniel spoke the name with such admiration, I felt giddy with happiness.

 

Not desiring to cross too many lines of propriety, I pulled myself from his gentle grasp. Suddenly feeling cold as I stepped away from him and melted into the crowd. I finally headed towards the edge of the crowd, making my way towards the smell of cooking meat drifting tantalizingly through the air.

 

However I was cut off by Delilah before I made it far enough. A large smile lit up her narrow face as she grabbed my hand and hauled me with her towards the forest. I noticed a basket in her other hand, so my reluctance fled as I knew she was kind enough to bring food as she kidnapped me. I also hoped Mother wouldn’t be too cross with my disappearance.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

**Nathaniel**

 

I lingered in the comforting shadows shrouding the edge of the forest as Teyrn Cousland gave another surprisingly short speech before the feasting and dancing began. Thankful, for once, my father was not here to witness the frivolity of the evening. Though he was the Teyrn's closest friend, he often skipped out on these dances in favor of retiring with a glass of brandy and his own thoughts. However I missed the whole of the Teyrn's words as I looked around trying to appear casual, despite being cloaked in shadow, as I looked for a familiar auburn head of hair. My searched proved to be in vain and I was just about to give up when I saw her breeze in from the direction of the wagons.

 

Her sudden change in appearance made me aware of the fact that she had to return to her home in order to prepare for tonight after her exertions from competing. She was once again wearing the deep blue dress from earlier, but instead of the long complex rope of hair over her shoulder, now it was piled on top of her head, showcasing her slender, elegant neck.

 

I found myself unintentionally paralleling her movements as she tried to make her way to the smoke pits and the pleasing smell of food drifting on the cooling breeze. However she was cut off by her mother and forced to follow back to the long table on the opposite side of the gathering but her gaze would occasionally look over her shoulder, longing and hunger in her gaze, as she watched her chance to eat diminish with each step away from her desired target.

 

I still clung to the dancing shadows as I watched a hurried exchange between the family and a young boy. I vaguely remembered him as being introduced as Teyrn Cousland's squire earlier today and I watched a blush color his countenance as his eyes flicked over to Elissa and longing suffused his whole being. I felt an unfamiliar feeling twist my insides as I watched the two young people face each other as the music started and the youth’s arms awkwardly held her as the notes drifted through the air.

 

Elissa was enchanting to watch, and I could hear the murmurs of approval ripple through the people watching her in the choreographed dance. Her grace and movement drew the eye without any effort, as if she became the music that danced through the air until the gangly clod holding her stumbled and you could see her face change from complete serenity to attempting to mask pain.

 

I felt my amusement growing as I watched her turn from tranquil to barely suppressed rage as the music continued and her partner continued to trod on her dainty slippers. She unknowingly shot her brother a few scathing looks whenever he entered her line of vision. Elissa's once graceful movements became stiff and jerky as her partner continued his unintentional barrage of clumsy steps.

 

Before I could stop myself, I was emerging from the shadows, praying my father wouldn't be too displeased as I felt a compulsion to save the willowy figure struggling to stay calm in her clumsy partner’s arms. My eyes were only on the youths but I was aware of gasps and murmured speculation ripple through the people as I approached the three couples. Clapping my hands on the youth's shoulder, I was aware of the beginning of muscles beginning to play under the fabric on his shoulder. 

 

"May I cut in?" I asked the squire, fighting the smirk from blooming, knowing the clod hated the interruption but was unable to stop me. I was starting to doubt my decision and what I thought may be a timely interruption when the glare from Gilmore and the gratitude shining from her shimmering eyes made my uncertainty vanish.

 

Gilmore stepped back, hurt and gratitude chasing each other across his freckled features since he clearly knew his own inability when it came to the finer things, such as dance. I bowed to the young spitfire and held out my hand, waiting for her to take it so we could begin. When I glanced up after she didn't take my offering, I saw her eyes impossibly wide with shock and her small mouth slightly agape in a mirrored expression.

 

"My lady?" I asked by way of a prompt and watched as she gave herself a mental shake, clearing her fair features of surprise before taking my hand and entering the circle of my arms.

 

Despite never having danced with Elissa before, I found we moved in time to the music well, our steps perfectly in sync as the notes of the song drifted around us. I marveled at the way she felt in my arms, as if she was meant to be there. Her movements returned to their former grace and I couldn't help notice the way her parents watched us, a knowing and speculative look mirrored in their wise gazes. The murmured whispers from the people surrounding us turned from surprise to approval as we seemed to compliment each other so perfectly as we moved in time. All too soon the final notes of the song whispered out on the evening breeze and I found myself loathing the idea of releasing her.

 

"Thank you," her normally strong, clear voice breathy with wonder and gratitude as she lingered in my arms.

 

"It was a pleasure, my lady."

 

"Elissa," she corrected me quickly. "Please Nathaniel, call me Elissa."

 

"Elissa," I tested the name, and was surprised at the reverence which resonated with the word as I said it out loud.

 

Her eyes danced with mirth as she extracted herself from my arms and disappeared into the crowd. I was about to go after her when I felt a hand settle on my shoulder and turned to find my best friend, his normally jovial face a dark cloud.

 

"We have to talk," Fergus informed me and a sense of dread enveloped me as he led me away from the frivolities.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

**Fergus**

 

"It is a great honor to dance with you, my lady," Gilly stated, his freckled face a vibrant pink from embarrassment.

 

"I don't think honor is why you're doing this," I pointed out and watched confusion furrow my sister's brow and the squire's face awash in horror as he stared at me before we took our places in the space left clear by the spectators.

 

I felt a little smug knowing how the hopeless Gilmore felt about my sister. However, my sister thought of the ginger-haired boy as another older brother and didn't notice his apparent interest. Finding a particular interest in the young squire's success, I asked him to dance with my sister hoping she would finally notice the lad already so smitten with her. However fate had been unkind to the warrior in training, instead of seeing the boy in a romantic light his clumsy feet had only planted him more firmly under the guise of a friend.

 

As the music started, I watched Elissa dancing with Gilly and found myself wincing when just a few bars into the song he trod heavily on her toes. My sister performed admirably and after yanking her foot out from under his heavy boot continued with the dance. However the squire became even more awkward, if that's even possible, and tread with more frequency on my poor sister's toes. Her once graceful dancing became stiff and jerky with each misstep of her partner.

 

"Oh the poor dear," Oriana murmured, noticing where my eyes focused. "Why ever did you ask him to dance?"

 

"He's sweet on Pup," I explained. "I thought he would be better at dancing. He picked up the stances in sword fighting so quickly, despite his young age. I assumed the same would be true when dancing."

 

"He's too nervous," the blonde in my arms explained, her soft Antivan accent warming me as we continued to move together in time to the tune. "Oh..." she trailed off with a sultry giggle. "The plot thickens."

 

"What?" I craned my neck around and saw Nate bowing before my sister, his arm out in offering as Gilmore stepped back to join the crowd.

 

I watched Elissa dance with her new partner and marveled at how quickly my close friend picked up the complicated dance steps. The two moved with a synchronicity I had only seen in my parents and I felt my jaw harden as I watched them move.

 

"Bloody void, he never dances at these things," I mumbled seeing the joy in both their eyes.

 

"Fergus!" Oriana admonished me, a light laughter following her chiding. "They seem happy, that should be enough for you."

 

"She's my bloody baby sister," I ground out around my teeth. "Besides he's too old for her."

 

The final bars of the song played and I glanced at my parents, noticing their apparent disinterest in the new couple on the floor which meant they saw and approved of the match.

 

"He may be too old now," my sweetheart pointed out. "But in six years time when she is your age, the five year difference will not seem so extreme."

 

I watched as they continued to stay in each others arms, exchanging words before my sister withdrew from Nate's arms and blended in with the diverse villagers. I stepped towards the rogue as he continued to stare at the crowd where Elissa vanished. When I got close enough, instead of punching the man as I felt compelled, I placed my hand on his shoulder.

 

"We have to talk," I explained when he looked at me. Not bothering to hear his reply, I led him in the opposite direction of my sister. When we had sufficient distance between us and the gathering, I turned and confronted the dark-haired rogue.

 

"What in the bloody void do you think you're doing, Nate?" I demanded, my ire rising as the words slipped from my mouth. "You never dance at these wretched things, unless you're forced to by your parents and now you suddenly feel inspired to dance? And not just with anyone but my bloody sister. I know we've been mates for a long time but could you at least not try to bed my sister where the family can see?"

 

"What?" Nathaniel looked flabbergasted at my tirade. "Fergus, I think you have the wrong idea."

 

"Really?" I crossed my arms over my chest to keep from punching the hawk-nosed rogue. "So you didn't just dance with my sister, interrupting a family tradition so you could get close to her?"

 

"It sounds bad when you say it like that," the archer hung his head slightly, admitting without saying the exact words that I was right.

 

"Bastard!" I spat, my fist swinging for his jaw before I even registered my movements but Nate had always been quick and was able to dodge my sloppy punch which only incensed me further.

 

"At least let me explain," he tried, stepping back and becoming one with the shadows, making it even harder for me to see the dark haired man.

 

"Fine," I grunted, still searching for a sign of his elusive figure. "Try."

 

"This morning when we bumped into each other I didn't remember her," Nate began, his voice dancing around me making it harder to track him in the deep, night-time shadows. "I know you don't want to hear this, but she's not the scabby kneed ten year old I remember, always covered in dirt and making my sister cry because Delilah was afraid of getting in trouble all the time for her being in a state."

 

"She used to drive you crazy when she followed us around," I agreed, my fists relaxing slightly but not completely.

 

"Exactly," I heard him agree quickly, causing me to turn towards the sound of his voice where I saw a flash of his glittering eyes before he vanished again. "But this morning, I didn't know her, didn't know her as your sister. And her new skills as an archer impressed me. I always knew I would never be interested in some of the simpering noblewomen that have no idea what a weapon is, much less how to hold one. But I never thought-oof."

 

I interrupted his words with a punch to the gut as his figure stepped in front of the fire and became completely visible.

 

"That's right," I agreed through gritted teeth. "You didn't think. She's my sister and you're five years her elder, in what part of bloody Thedas did this seem like a good idea?"

 

"I'm sorry," Nate gasped out, bent over clutching his stomach from the unexpected hit.

 

His apology quickly defeated my anger and as his words caught up with my brain, I felt my shoulders hunch as I eyed him. I watched him straighten, his face twisted in a grimace, I began to remember the boy I grew up with: always so serious with barely a smile lighting up his face, reluctant to join in the games I created for us on sunny days, and  _ never _ prone to flights of fancy.

 

"Look," I tried again, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Just be careful with her. She hasn't even had that stupid coming out party yet. Can you at least wait to court her until then, when my parents present her to the other members of the nobility?"

 

"Of course," he promised quicker than I would have anticipated, his face remarkably serene and without a hint of lying. I didn't really expect him to be interested in her for that long, Nate and my sister were just too different. He was dark, thoughtful and serious, while she was airy, light, and impetuous. They were just too different.

  
_ It won't last _ , I thought to myself in an attempt to reassure my own uncertain mind as I left Nate in his shadows and made my way back to Oriana's side.  _ Though opposites do attract...Bloody void, Maker help me… _


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

**Delilah**

 

I had just finished dancing with Oswyn, Bann Sighard's only son, when I noticed the Cousland family making their way into the emptying dance space to start their traditional family dance. It was a complicated number that a few years ago Elie had taught me when we were bored one rainy day and couldn't go outside.

 

I noticed her tight, too-bright smile and knew she didn't want to be dancing this year, despite outward appearances for those that may not know her as I did. As the music began, I watched my best friend try to get swept up in the music. She moved with perfect ease until the squire she was dancing with stepped on her toes. I felt myself wince, knowing the feeling all too well from past dances with clumsy dance partners but I could only watch, too afraid to break the family tradition and save Elissa. As the song progressed through the stanzas, I watched my poor friend's suffering continue.

 

I tried not to focus on the red-headed pair but it was hard to tear my eyes away as Squire Gilmore began to step on her feet with increasing regularity as the song continued. I noticed a movement at the edge of the crowd as Nathaniel stepped from the periphery and interrupted the young dancers. I felt my thoughts jumble at my older brother's action, knowing there would be consequences later for him if my parents discovered his antics.

 

All of that was soon forgotten as my brother and best friend began to dance together. Hope sparked in my chest as they moved around the dance space, their steps light and in time with the quick beat. I noticed the way Nathaniel looked at Elie and my surprise took to the forefront of my mind. Father had been pushing my brother to find a suitable noble's daughter to court now that he was back from Denerim, and despite my friend's status among the nobility, I knew father would not look kindly on the match as he had set his sights on Thomas to court my best friend.

 

Father's thoughts aside, I couldn't be more thrilled as I watched them dance together. They moved so well and even though this was the first time they had danced with each other, they looked as though they had been together for years. It was very thrilling for me to see my brother and friend so happy together. I knew I needed to question my friend, so I pulled my eyes away from the duo and went in search of a basket of food for the two of us. Nan was busy with Tessa preparing platters of food for those who came to eat but at my approach the graying former caretaker greeted me.

 

"Delilah, it's good to see you," the old governess addressed me, a crooked smile beginning to show on her wizened face. The stress of taking care of Elie for so many years showed in each deep, etched wrinkle.

 

"You as well," I replied, her smile brightening and growing larger at my polite greeting.

 

"My girl could always learn a thing or two from you," Nan stated, stepping away from the bustle of the food servers. "Especially when it came to manners and behavior."

 

I could only nod at her age-old complaint. It was a comment she had started using after the first time Nan found us with Elissa covered in dirt and her clothing ripped and wrinkled while I cried my eyes out, fearing the trouble we would get into once discovered.

 

"I'm surprised to see you here without her, honestly," the former governess continued, her sharp eyes scanning past me looking for my friend. I saw her eyes narrow slightly before widening in surprise, and I knew she had seen Elissa dancing with my brother. "I see..."

 

"I know she hasn't eaten yet, would you be willing to prepare a basket?" I questioned, a knowing smile passed between us as she moved off to fill a basket with more than enough food for the both of us. When she returned and presented the prepared basket, I slipped a bottle of plum wine into the interior of the basket and waited for Elissa to make her way towards the food.

 

I barely heard the last few notes of the song lilt through the breeze. I watched them share a few words before Elie finally pulled herself from Nathaniel's arms and headed in my direction. She caught sight of me and I couldn't help the smile that widened across my face. I grabbed her hand and began pulling her away from the frivolity. She was reluctant at first, her hand pressed to her stomach but once her green eyes noticed the basket swinging at my side, her reluctance fled and she followed me into the treeline.

 

She directed us towards a spot where we could see the crowds but they wouldn't easily see us and we spread the blanket on the cool ground before we began digging into the food Nan so carefully packed for us.

 

"Plum wine," Elissa breathed reverently as she pulled the bottle from the basket. "Have I begun to finally corrupt you?"

 

"Perhaps," I replied as we shared a giggle. "But you know how we both favor it. It's been awhile since we shared some together."

 

"Hmm," Elie hummed in disbelief as she opened the bottle of weak, sweet wine.

 

"Fine, I brought it as a bribe," I finally admitted, when she passed the bottle to me. She remained silent, a rarity with her, and my curiosity finally prompted me to press her for information.

 

"I've never seen my brother chose to dance when he didn't have to," I finally informed my friend in between bites of food. I watched as her cheeks darkened in the dim light and I knew she was blushing from my statement but still she remained silent. "Elie, you know I already think of you as a sister, there's no need for silence."

 

"What would you have me say?" she finally queried, her voice shockingly small and sounding strangely uncertain for my normally brash friend.

 

"You could tell me when this started," I stated, sliding closer on the blanket so our hips touched, the wine passed between us as we continued to talk.

 

"There's not much to say," Elissa finally whispered, taking the bottle and swallowing a large drink of the wine before she adjusted herself so she could lean against the tree behind us. "He tried to teach me to shoot this morning, claiming I had bad form. I didn't recognize him as your brother, though Maker knows I should have, and I just thought he was another of father's soldiers so I ordered him to prove his skill. He completely missed the target and then left when I couldn't stop laughing."

 

We were silent for a time, watching the crowd and dancers while the music faintly drifted towards our hidden spot. After we ate our fill, and threw the remains deeper into the forest, I finally asked her the question that had been at the forefront of my mind since I saw Elie in my brother's arms.

 

"Do you have feelings for him?"

 

"Perhaps," she answered vaguely. "He is much changed."

 

"And?" I prompted, sensing she desired to say more but was holding back.

 

"And distracting," Elie finished with a sigh.

 

"Distracting?” I couldn’t help the giggled that bubbled up before sobering quickly when she tossed a glare in my direction. “How so?"

 

"I can't think straight in his presence," my friend admitted, the wine, though weak, finally loosening her tongue.

 

"Really?" I couldn't help but giggle again as she stuck her tongue out at me. "That's unusual for you, you regard your wit rather highly."

 

"Andraste preserve me," she sighed, her head dropping into her hands in defeat.

 

"Oh Elie. Elie, I'm only teasing," I comforted her taking her head in my hands so she had to meet my eyes. "I only desire you both to be happy."

 

"Happy..." she trailed off, her eyes glazing over as she looked lost in thought. "So you would not be angry because Fergus just now seemed rather put out?"

 

"How could I be angry with you?" I asked, pulling her into a hug. "You are like a sister to me, if you and Nathaniel married then you truly would be."

 

"I think you're putting the cart before the horse, Lalah," she pulled away and smirked at me. "We only just met today after his four year absence."

 

"And already he is acting out of character," I pointed out, as we lay next to each other on the blanket stretched out on the ground and stared up at the stars blazing bright against the black sky.

 

We stayed there talking for a long time, and only realized the late hour when the banquet became deceptively quiet. I glanced up and noticed the gathering breaking up, servants scurrying around cleaning up, and villagers drifting towards the line of wagons waiting for their use.

 

"Stay in my room tonight," Elissa whispered to me unnecessarily.

 

"We haven't done that in more than a year," I answered back as we stood to gather the articles of our night time picnic that couldn’t be thrown to the animals of the forest.

 

"But that means more talking," she pointed out, a dazzling smile flashing quickly before it turned into a too familiar pout. "Please Lalah."

 

"Fine, fine," I agreed with a fake sigh of frustration. Watching with my own smile as she clapped her hands quickly a few times in excitement before finishing up our task.

 

We hurried to the last wagon set to take off, scrambling up to the seat with the driver. We crept through the castle to the kitchens so we could return our basket and then made our way to Elissa's room. We stayed up later than normal talking to each other, catching up on relevant gossip, before we fell asleep holding hands just like we used to when we were little girls.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

**Elissa**

 

I woke when Niria shook me awake gently; her eyes apologetic as I stifled a groan that threatened to tumble from my throat and wake my best friend while the flickering flame of her candle worsened the persistent pounding in my head. I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead as I rose, hoping the added pressure from my palm would calm the ache that had taken up residence behind my eyes. It didn’t help. Nor did the dryness of my mouth that tasted like burnt fruit and mud as I desperately rolled my tongue around the inside attempting to alleviate the symptoms.

 

Outside my window dawn was just a pale pink ribbon upon the horizon, the rest of the sky beyond my window still dark and dotted with stars. I readied as quietly as I could with Niria’s help, trying to not wake Delilah as I pulled on my leather archery armor. The splash of cold water in my basin woke me quickly but did little to ease my morning discomfort. I stared at my own reflection, barely recognizing the tired, bloodshot eyes that reflected back to me from the light of the single flickering flame.

 

“I’m never drinking again,” I grumbled rather loudly to myself, gasping as I covered my mouth, hoping that I hadn’t woken my best friend. A muffled groan from behind me made me realize my failure as her dark hair disappeared from view when she pulled up the covers with a muffled protest. I continued to get ready for the day ahead of me, feeling sorrow wash over me at my own forgetfulness.

 

“Come back to bed,” I finally heard Lalah’s stifled mumble from under the covers. “It’s too early, even for you.”

 

“I need to practice,” I said with a small chuckle, tying my hair up haphazardly in a quick bun at the back of my head, despite Niria fluttering nearby as she yearned to help me with my hair, as I perched myself on the edge of the bed near her. “You go back to bed. I’ll have Niria wake you at a more decent hour.”

 

“Okay,” Lalah hummed in agreement as she snuggled under the covers, quickly falling back to sleep with my reassurances.

 

I grabbed up my quiver and bow that Niria had been kind enough to place on the weapon’s rack for me last night before making my way to the kitchen. Food was the last thing my tender stomach even wanted to contemplate eating right now, but I knew I needed to eat something or else the long day ahead of me would be even longer.

 

As I entered the kitchen, trying to sneak in and out as the bustle of morning preparations began inside the expansive room, I soon found myself cornered by Nan. Her sharp eyes swept over me  missing no details, her lips pursing in disapproval as she took in my blood-shot eyes before she pulled me over to a stool and pointed at it. No words were said in exchange. I took my silent queue and sat on the stool, watching with squinted eyes as she bustled around the kitchen. Sooner than my throbbing head could process, she was standing back in front of me with a small packet of food and water skin in one hand and a silverite chalice of pale liquid in the other.

 

“Drink this,” she ordered, pushing the cup into my hands before setting the parcel and skin near my feet. Knowing better than to argue with my ex-governess, I began drinking the pale pink liquid and almost pushed it away when I recognized the plum wine bombarding my taste buds, no matter how watery. 

 

“Don’t you dare,” Nan’s eyes narrowed, her hands planted on her narrow hips forcing me through sheer force of will to drink the liquid. “I saw Delilah take the bottle of plum wine and knew you two would be hurting this morning. This will help to ease your symptoms but make sure to drink plenty of water today.” I continued to drink slowly, watching her over the rim of the goblet in my hands. “I’ll see that one of the servants brings Delilah the same instructions. Did she stay in your room last night?” I could only nod, knowing she wouldn’t look kindly on my answer if I stopped drinking for longer than the simple gesture. “I suppose she’ll need to have Niria wake her up as well. Maker knows how you two get on so well. Delilah always says the right thing and acts like a proper lady. You could learn a thing or two from her.”

 

“Yes, Nan,” I answered quickly after I finally finished the contents of the chalice, not bothering to argue knowing that despite her constant grumbling about my behavior the graying woman in front of me wouldn’t want me to be anyone but myself. I learned long ago her harping was just her way of showing she cared. She did much the same with Fergus until recently. Though I think his foray into courtship ceased her incessant complaints and instead directed them more fully in my direction. I handed back the empty goblet before making my way, with my added belongings, out towards the stables.

 

I waved off the stablehands coming to help me, quickly saddled my horse, Mahogany, and made my way out to the archery range on the tournament grounds. Knowing I wasn’t going to be long, I left her saddled but pulled the bridle free to allow her to graze in the field not far from my position. The clang of metal on an anvil as a traveling blacksmith worked his forge repairing arms and armor became a distance ting, the neigh of horses and soft bustle of servants passing from tent to tent pushed into the background. The bite of the chilled wind became a gentle, cold caress as I set myself up, ignoring the sounds of the tournament waking with the growing dawn.

 

I felt fear flutter through my heart again, as I stood at the final distance for the tournament. I knew I needed to practice this long distance but first I needed a warm-up.  _ A good warm-up,  _ I thought to myself. Firming my resolve, I approached the stationary targets and gave myself a distance I was more comfortable with shooting at. It was still a farther distance than I normally shot during my morning warm-up but I needed to try shooting from greater distances if I even expected to make it to the final round.

 

After a dozen shots, my aim seemed more accurate so I skipped back a few markers, lining up my shot before letting the arrow fly. It sailed through the air only to land paces shy of the intended target. I let out a frustrated huff before I tried again, only to witness the same result as before. Shot after shot, I tried again and again, adjusting my aim as I had been taught but each time the arrow fell short of its intended target. After I discovered my empty quiver, I growled in frustration and stamped my foot on the ground before I began swearing a stream of curses I often heard muttered by father’s soldiers when they thought I couldn’t hear or forgot that I was around.

 

I went forward to collect my arrows and when I turned back towards my marker with my quiver full once again I was confronted by the sight of Nathaniel. His bow and quiver hung from his back and his fist covered his mouth but I could see the way his eyes danced and the corners crinkled and I knew he was laughing at my failure.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10**

**Nathaniel**

 

I was roused by one of the few servants my father brought with us on this trip. I wanted an early start out at the archery range, before the crowd of spectators and competitors would arrive causing too many distractions. I pulled on my archery leathers, grabbed my bow and quiver and headed out towards the wagon line to see if I could catch a ride out to the tournament grounds. I was fortunate to catch one just as it was lumbering away from the stables, hopping into the open end with a nod of gratitude towards the driver when he looked back at the sudden noise and jostle my jumping aboard no doubt caused. Eventually the tournament tents began passing by me on either side before the wagon rolled to a stop and I jumped out, heading to the furthest end of the grounds for the archery range.

 

I paused when I noticed Elissa’s familiar figure practicing at the farthest end of targets. I was surprised to see her beat me once again, I heard her and my sister unsuccessfully sneak through the castle.  _ If you could truly call all the shushing and giggling the two did as they progressed through the stone hallways, “sneaking.”  _ I could tell she was pushing herself for greater distances than she was used to shooting. Her stance was off and she wasn’t lifting her bow enough to account for the greater distance. As more and more of her arrows fell short, I could see the frustration mounting in her lithe figure.

 

I watched as she pulled her final arrow from the quiver on her back, pausing for longer than necessary before she released but it too missed, like so many of her shots before. Elissa screamed in frustration, and I couldn’t help grinning at her bellowing at the stationary target as if it was the target’s fault for her failing so many times. Suddenly she began letting loose a string of expletives a lady of her station should never say as she flounced and stamped towards the target to retrieve the offending projectiles and what once started as a grin against my own better judgment became laughter as I listened to words that sounded so foreign coming from her full lips.

 

I quickly stuffed my hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the laughter as she turned, her green eyes flashing in indignation, frustration, and just the tiniest sliver of embarrassment. I watched her eyes narrow on me before her chin tilted in proud haughtiness and I knew she had seen my laughter at her expense. She tried to ignore me, taking up her stance again but the tension in her body proved she was unable to block out my presence. Finally I stepped up so she could not escape the sight of me from the corner of her emerald eye as she tried to sight down the arrow to the target.

 

“Raise the bow higher,” I instructed, touching my own gloved hand to hers wrapped around the grip, pushing her hand up so the bow aimed higher. I could understand pride; it was something the Howe family excelled at, especially where my father was concerned. Elissa was trying her best, but did not have the training to back up her attitude and though it would fill me with pride knowing I was better than her when she laughed at my expense yesterday, I found myself wanting to help her instead, to see her excel. Her green eyes flicked towards me before returning to gaze down the arrow resting against her cheek.

 

“I’m not going to hit the target,” she huffed out, uncertainty etched in every line of her willowy body.

 

“You must compensate for distance,” I instructed, keeping my tone brisk. “This bow isn’t composite and was not meant for such great distances and must be raised higher to take the distance into account. Now take a breath and release.”

 

There was a pause and I watched her nostrils flare slightly as she pulled in air before letting the arrow fly. The projectile flew through the air, soaring with the breeze before becoming embedded in the lowest section of the target.

 

“I hit it?” Elissa asked her voice uncertain as if she couldn’t believe the sight in front of her after so many failures. Suddenly joy suffused her entire being as she flashed a large smile my direction. I felt my gut clench at the sight of her happy face beaming up at me. “I hit it!”

 

“Barely,” I replied with a smirk pulling at the corner of my mouth. Her eyes narrowed at my tone but the smile stayed in place.

 

“Not shite with a bow after all,” Elissa mumbled, her eyes returning to look in disbelief at the target in the distance with her single arrow protruding from the base of the largest circle. She seemed to contemplate the distant target before she sucked in a huge breath. 

 

“Nathaniel would you…” She stopped herself, shaking her head slightly causing a few wisps of auburn hair to fall from their confines and frame her face. “Never mind.”

 

“Would I…what?” I prompted, finding myself moving a step closer to her against my own better judgment. I watched her as she turned her dazzling, though slightly tired, eyes on me, she nibbled on her bottom lip as she studied me. I fought against the sudden urge to pull her plump bottom lip into my mouth in a searing kiss, reminding myself of the promise I made to Fergus only last night.

 

“Wouldyoubewillingtohelpme?” Elissa breathed out finally in a rush so fast I missed everything that flew from her mouth.

 

“Pardon?” I leaned even closer to her, afraid she would speak it all in a rush again, and caught the faintest waft of vanilla greeted my nose.

 

“Maker’s breath,” she swore softly, before closing her eyes her face still upturned. “Would you be willing to help me?”

 

Her eyes seemed glued shut, refusing to open as she waited for my answer. I felt her bow hit my thigh as I stepped closer to her, trying to read the emotions playing across her delicate face. Against my better judgment, I caressed her cheek and her bold eyes snapped open, and I was witness to her internal battle as well. My conscious was at war with my thoughts, reminding me of my promise to Fergus continually as I found myself agreeing to help Elissa with her archery.

 

“Of course, Elissa” I finally voiced my thoughts out loud; realizing she was still waiting for the answer I already knew would tumble from my lips as soon as she asked the question.

 

“Thank you,” she sighed, gratitude and relief softening the corners of her eyes.

 

“We have much to do,” I muttered, not even aware of the words tumbling from my mouth as a wisp of her auburn hair danced across her face. She seemed completely unaware of its journey, until I caught it with my hand. I found myself wishing I hadn’t the insight to put on my gloves on the wagon ride over, because now I longed to feel the silken texture of her skin and hair. Her lips moved but I was unaware of her words as my attention centered on her luscious mouth and I literally ached to kiss her. I was aware of nothing, only the blossoming young woman in front of me.

 

“Nathaniel,” her melodic finally voice broke through my revelry, like being doused in cold water. Realizing just how close I was to her in full sight of the still bustling servants, I stepped back giving us both space.

 

“Right,” I forced my thoughts into some semblance of working order and made a haphazard motion towards the bow dangling from her hand.

 

I made a few adjustments to her stance and watched her quick mind catalog each new position, filing it away for later training. My mind swam as her sweet smell filled my lungs, as I moved around her to check every angle for an incorrect body position. I groaned internally, realizing her feet weren’t wide enough. I floundered with a way to widen her stance and settled for forcing them apart with my own, so I stepped up behind her. She stiffened when my hands came to rest on her hips, her head tilting in my direction trying to see me looming behind her without completely breaking her stance.

 

“I’ll not hurt you, Elissa,” I promised, whispering to her in the ear she presented me. Her body shivered at my words but did not respond they way I hoped. 

 

“Relax, my lady,” I knew my use of her title would bother her and I couldn’t help the chuckle that rumbled through my chest as her body stiffened even more before she finally loosened her muscles allowing me the chance to adjust her feet and cant her hips. I was reluctant to let go of her, but stepped back remembering the possible prying eyes. Returning to her front, I sighted down the arrow, fighting with my desires the whole time.

 

Time seemed to blur as I watched her shoot off arrow after arrow, each consecutive shot closing in on the center circle: her true target. With each shot, her muscle memory showed as Elissa required fewer and fewer of my directions, which left me with time to study her. The way her eyes tightened and she frowned slightly in determination before releasing each shot. The way she easily drowned out the sounds of the increasingly louder tournament around her. I marveled at the auburn haired archer’s concentration, with a few more years she could rival even the greatest archer in Fereldan.

 

I was so wrapped up in my study of her that I had ceased to watch her shots. Suddenly she let out a shout of triumph, pulling my eyes to the distant target and her arrow dead center. She threw her arms around me and I was swept away in the happy moment, her victory and effort clear in the quivering shaft embedded in the distant circle of red. My arms wrapped around her as I laughed with her, lost completely in her accomplishment that she had worked so hard to complete.

 

Lost, I was lost in her. Her smell, the feel of her leather clad body against mine, the way joy radiated from her entire body and carried me away with her, even the way her laughter danced in the wind around us. My laughter died when I realized the desire that swept through me for a woman I had known for little more than a day. We may have played together as children, but Elissa was no longer that young scabby-kneed girl leading around my reluctant sister with tear stained cheeks.

 

With the absence of my laughter, Elie’s own died as well her head turning to find out what was wrong. In that moment, with the minute space separating her plump lips from mine I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Longing filled my whole being. I wanted to be her first, make her compare me to any other boy she kissed. 

 

_ No other boys, no men. Mine! _ I felt my inner desire growl before another voice took hold.

 

_ "Just be careful with her,” _ Fergus’ warning echoed through my head, shaking me like a rat terrier with its strong jaws wrapped around its prey, halting the need to claim her before it truly took over.  _ “She hasn't even had her coming out party yet. Can you at least wait to court her until then?" _

 

Regret for my actions, and so quickly forgetting my promise to my friend filled my being. I released her as if she were a hot coal, separating from her and feeling as if my world was about to cave in on itself from the absence of her in my arms.

 

“Forgive me, my lady,” she winced at her title, but I needed to place distance between us. My promise to my best mate needed to be remembered;  _ I _ needed to remember to avoid her for almost a year and a half, she was too much of a temptation. I didn’t even give her a chance to say a word before I turned, leaving her behind with all my regrets, when all I wanted to do was sweep her back into my arms and explain myself before kissing her senseless.

 

_ Distance is good _ , I argued with myself but couldn’t help glance at her one more time. She stood in front of her target, her shoulders drooping slightly and just before she passed from my sight I saw her swipe angrily at her face. 

 

_ Void take me. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11**

**Elissa**

 

Without warning Nathaniel released me, stepping away from me and leaving me reeling in confusion at both the loss of his warmth and his touch.

 

“Forgive me, my lady,” the eldest Howe bowed to me, further putting me off balance with the distance and barriers he had suddenly placed both physically and mentally. He turned on his heel, his stride brisk as he headed away from me and the archery grounds.

 

_ What just happened? _ The question repeating itself as I watched him, seeming to run away from me. It had felt so good to have him near me. His smell had invaded my senses, making me almost forget the task at hand. I hadn’t meant to hug him, truly I hadn’t, but I was so overjoyed seeing the arrow in the center of the target I basically threw myself at him.

 

_ I threw myself at him... _

 

Tripping on the heels of my confusion, hurt and understanding followed in quick succession. I began gathering my archery gear, tears pricking at my green eyes. Thoughts, unbidden and unwelcome, deriding me for my atrocious behavior, sounding like Mother’s voice.

 

_ “A lady would never throw herself at a man,” _ the voice chided.  _ “He’s a nobleman’s son, of course he excused himself from your atrocious behavior, and any gentleman raised properly would.” _

 

I felt tears threaten to fall as I pulled the arrows from the target with my mother’s voice continuing to berate me for my conduct. I swiped at my eyes, hoping to stave off the moisture gathering and making it increasingly difficult to see. I found my hand hovering over the final arrow, the one surround by red and the self-recriminations started all over again. 

 

Suddenly feeling a fool, I wanted to be free from the archery competition and this tournament. I wanted the Howes away from Highever, except Delilah of course, so I could begin to regain my equilibrium. The end of my family’s tournament couldn’t come soon enough.

 

Trying to put my actions behind me, knowing I would never do such a foolish thing again where  _ Nathaniel Howe _ was involved, I gripped my bow tightly and readied an arrow but the weapon suddenly seemed to feel like a weigh stone in my hand. I returned the arrow to my quiver and then slung the bow over my back, as I made my way back to my horse. I would ask Delilah to stay with us, instead of make the journey to Amaranthine with her family.

 

Clicking softly to Mahogany before I was barely settled in the saddle, I set off for Highever Castle to seek out my friend. I found her still in my bed, a tray of food sitting across her lap with Nan hovering nearby, scowl fully intact. My former governess turned when I enter the room, her finger pointing at me and then Delilah in turn.

 

“I hope you two have learned your lesson,” my former nanny admonished us both. “I’ll keep this from both of your parents, but I hope next time you don’t drink the whole bottle, or split it between more friends.”

 

Delilah snorted a laugh into her goblet before recovering, her reaction making a wide smile spread across my face since my former nanny had actually given us permission to do it more in the future, but just to be more mindful of how much we actually drank. We both sobered under Nan’s dreadful stare however.

 

“Yes, Nan,” we both adopted false sincerity which seemed to appease the greying cook. She gave a curt nod as if the matter was closed. 

 

“Good, now there should be enough food for you both on the tray.”

 

Nan motioned to the packet still held in my hand, and I realized just how short my practice had been because of the incident with Nathaniel. I was about to hand the packet of food to Nan when I snatched it from her reach.

 

“I’m sorry, Nan, I’m not trying to be a tease,” I apologized immediately. “I’ll save this for later if I get hungry between archery rounds.”

 

My ex-nanny nodded her approval before finally making her way to leave, her hand on the door’s handle before she paused and turned her head to look at us near my bed.

 

“Take care of each other dears, I would hate to see something happen to you like my late husband,” I could see the flash of pain in her eyes before she departed quickly before Delilah or I could say anything in understanding.

 

“Oh Nan,” Delilah and I sighed at the same time, both vaguely remembering the incident close to a decade ago. We had been too young at the time to really understand what had happened, we had been given the vague answer that her husband Astin had been taken to the Maker’s side and wouldn’t be able to help the horses anymore. I remember my four year old righteous indignation and being more upset for the horses well-being than I was for Nan’s husband having died, but I didn’t truly understand at such a young age.

 

“I didn’t expect to see you until this evening,” Lalah finally broke through my memories and I turned from staring at the closed door to my best friend.

 

“Yes well, I missed you,” I lied easily, easing onto the bed in an effort to not squish her legs as I plucked a piece of bacon from the plate and bit down eating nearly half the piece in one go.

 

“Liar!” Delilah called me out easily, with a small smile on her face as she set the goblet she was holding down on the tray. “Though I appreciate the lie.”

 

“How do you do that?” I looked at her in shock.

 

“I’ve been around you in too many fibs,” she sounded magnanimous as she too reached for another strip of bacon, following my lead and foregoing silverware. “Besides you usually start with ‘yes well’ or the like. I don’t know how your family hasn’t realized it yet.”

 

“It’s nothing really,” I snort, shoving the last of my bacon in my mouth before plucking a preserved cinnamon apple slice from the tray.

 

“Liar,” she called me out again, her tone serious and I knew she’d already picked up on my inner struggle. She set the tray aside and slide closer to me.

 

I swallowed hard, the bacon felt like it stuck in my throat as I meant her earnest, caring eyes.

 

“Lalah, don’t make me say it,” I finally managed, my voice rough with uncertainty.

 

“When have I judged you?”

 

“Never,” I answer quickly, knowing the truth of our past together. Delilah may not have always liked the things I did, or the choices I made and she may have even tried to talk me out of some of my most foolish decisions but she never judge me for them.  _ “Is this wise?” _ It was the question she always asked me, it was never  _ “Is this what a lady in your position would do?” _ She looked out for my safety first and foremost, and I did the same in return.

 

“Then why would I start now?” Lalah pressed, sliding even closer, taking my hand.

 

I didn’t answer, but we both knew the answer: she would never judge me. Never.

 

“I threw myself at your brother-”

 

“You did what?!” the raven beauty shrieked, cutting me off, before wincing slightly and continuing in a rush. “Oh my goodness, that is so exciting. Not that I want to know all the details, given that he’s my brother and al-”

 

“Delilah, delilah, Lalah!” I interrupted the excited ramblings, waiting for her to look at me. “He rejected me.”

 

“He did what? No!” I watched her eyes grow wide as the implications of my words and my sour mood sunk into her hungover brain. She finally broke the silence surrounding us with a very succinct description of her brother. “Oh he’s a bloody fool.”

 

I snorted a laugh at her proclamation, but couldn’t find it within my waning confidence to agree with her.

 

“I’m the fool, he was a perfect gentleman,” I find myself defending him. “The perfect nobleman’s son.”

 

“Still a bloody fool,” Lalah reiterated, not backing down in her assessment. “If he can’t see how perfect the two of you are together, then we’ll have to show him. Prove to him that he’s a fool to reject you.”

 

“And here I was hoping I could convince you to stay on at Highever instead of going to Amaranthine,” I mumble, reaching for a plate with crepes folded neatly across the surface and stuffed with creme, holding it between the two of us so we could both partake, once again not using silverware despite knowing the mess the creme would no doubt make on our fingers. “I think it might be best if I don’t chase your brother and Nan must be trying to impress you, she rarely makes these.”

 

“Liar,” she whispered once more, before picking up a crepe from the plate between us. I sighed, unable to fight against someone I saw right through my hypocrisy. “Well, the bit about my brother, and of course I’ll stay here, if my parents allow it. We can go to that lovely herbalist who makes those smelling soaps and oils, the one in Amaranthine is not nearly as proficient, which is quite a pity. And I still intend to prove to you both that you belong together, I guess I’ll spend my time convincing you of it, as well as planning how to get Nathaniel to notice you and pursue you. I can’t believe the idiot had the gaul to reject you.”

 

Delilah ends her spiel with a huff, taking a bite of the crepe still clutched in her hand, before moaning quietly as it melts in her mouth.

 

“I know we’re supposed to be against all things Orlesian, but these crepes are-” 

 

“To die for,” I finish for her, smiling before we each take a large bite, giggling with full mouths as the sweetened, thick creme begins to smoosh out of the thin pastry.

 

We finished the rest of our meal in relative silence, enjoying each other’s company and the food, but no longer talking about Nathaniel or the details of his rejection. Though I knew at some point Delilah would demand to know those details so she could begin the process of getting him to set his sights on me as his future partner in life. Only time would tell if my best friend could be successful, and the flutter I felt in my heart let me know I wanted her to be right and make it happen.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

**Nathaniel**

 

I hid like a coward in the Cousland family tent, waiting for longer than may have been necessary for Elissa to leave the tournament’s archery butts so I could begin my own practice. I needed to lose myself in the feel of the bow in my hand and concentrate on the target in the distance. Visualize my arrow striking true. I did not need to recall the feel of her body pressed against mine as she hugged me, the rightness of Elie in my arms. And I definitely didn’t need to visualize the way her cheeks would flush if I kissed her and whispered the dirty things I wanted to do to her in her ear.

 

I was under no illusions that Elissa would be anything like the prostitutes I had bedded before. Her reactions would be honest, not falsified by the coin exchanged to make me feel like a better man. I could already imagine how she would feel, sound. Taste. It would be perfect and it was enough to drive a man to distraction, maybe even insanity. 

 

With a growl of frustration and helpless anger, I flipped the table still set up in the middle of the large tent, sending the items on its surface scattering throughout the space. The jangle of empty metal platters and bowls a symphony to my riot of thoughts.

 

“I’m a bloody fool,” I yelled to the empty tent before growling again and dropping to my knees in the middle of my mess. I didn’t know how I was going to survive for a year and a half keeping my promise to Fergus. Elissa needed to be presented to the crown, she deserved to be shown as the rare flower she was, and a part of me didn’t want to steal that moment from her. Though, in truth, I wanted to claim her as mine before she was ever presented to any of the nobility.

 

“I cannot be weak,” I vowed, standing, righting the table, and beginning to gather the strewn dishes knowing others didn’t need to see the results of my outburst. “I will keep my promise to Fergus, even if it means avoiding Elissa at all costs, but on her Name Day after she’s been presented to the nobility, I  _ will _ make her mine.”

 

With a new resolve and knowing the path before me, I stepped out of the tent, and made my way back to the butts. More people were bustling about the grounds, showing me the lateness of the morning, but I ignored them all needing to practice my archery before the competition began and find a new center.

 

I lose myself in my shooting. It was only me, my bow, the wind, and the distant target. I blocked out everything else and released my tension, only stopping when my quiver emptied before I started up again after retrieving my arrows. I lost count of the number of times I emptied my quiver. The need to hit something more than the distant target still thrumming lightly through my veins, but I ignored it, there would be time for that when I returned home. When my absence from  _ her _ would truly be felt. It should have disturbed me that I would find such comfort in the presence of someone I had been around for a couple days, and while I had known her as a child, grown up with her, being away had changed the way I saw her and the way she no doubt saw me. She completed me in a way I never thought I would find amongst the nobility, long ago given up the idea of finding love and instead having to settle on an arranged marriage, like my parents.

 

“My Lord?” The archery judge interrupted my shooting, and I lowered the bow with huff, releasing some of the tension on the string.

 

“What?” I groused, slightly grateful for the interruption on my internal dialogue, when the man said nothing further.

 

“We are ready to begin, my Lord, but cannot do so while you take up the field,” he motioned to the 5 targets I had taken to firing upon, emptying my quiver even faster as I lost myself in my internal thoughts.

 

“My apologies,” I returned the arrow to my quiver before offering the trio of judges a bow, making all their eyes widen in surprise. “Just let me take a few moments to retrieve my arrows and then the field is yours.”

 

The confidence I displayed was not one I felt as I walked the meters to the far end of the butts, retrieved my arrows before making my way off the field. I was surprised when I noticed Delilah standing with Elissa and the two seemed trapped in an intense conversation, but I knew how much my sister disliked watching the archery portion, it didn’t have nearly the excitement of the joust or even the melee, since it was a lot of waiting around for each archer to make their shots, especially as the distances increased.

 

I began walking over to the two friends, and watched in amazement as they walked even further away from me. When I picked up my pace, so did they. They were both avoiding me.

  
_ Childish, _ I thought to myself on a sneer, coming to a stop and not trying to follow them further. I had an advantage over them both, but now was not the time to use the early morning shadows to my advantage when this portion of the competition was about to begin. They took a few more steps before coming to a halt as well, apparently intensely interested in the words spoken by the trio of judges. But I knew better, both of their eyes would occasionally flick in my direction betraying their intentions and the lie. Despite my earlier decision to avoid Elissa, I began plotting ways to get her alone with me and find out what in the Void she was trying to do.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13**

**Elissa**

 

I could tell from Nathaniel’s glare he knew just what Delilah and I were up to, but at this point I didn’t care. He was the one to reject me, it was only right that I keep my heart safe from his continuing apathy. While it pained me to be apart from him, it would hurt more to continue to be rejected for feelings that seemed beyond my control. Right now, all I wanted to do was get through today’s portion, and then take each remaining day of the tournament one day at a time.

 

I was truly glad Delilah came with me, it meant she could keep me focused on the task at hand with the tournament, and help keep Nathaniel at a distance. Despite her desire to see us together, I knew she wouldn’t push today since my ego wouldn’t be able to handle what would only end up being another rejection at this point, and the worst part of my own mind was convinced he would always reject me. Despite his rescue of me last night, perhaps he only saw me as another little sister.

 

“Maybe I read more into his actions,” I found myself saying out loud, and Delilah looked at me in surprise from the corner of her eye while we watched the first group of archers prepare the first shots of the day. “Perhaps he sees me in the same light as you, a sister.”

 

“Psh, doubtful,” Lalah discounted immediately, her arms crossing outside her thick, furry cape to show off her disagreement with my ponderings. “He’s just playing the fool right now, though Maker knows why.”

 

The rest of the day passed quickly since I was able to focus on my archery when it was my turn, and Delilah kept me company and prevented me from acting a fool again with Nate when I would have gotten lonely without her here by my side. As dusk settled over the land, the competitions were called, to begin once again tomorrow. Nate and I had both competed well enough to move on and I heard Delilah give off a dreadfully loud sigh when my name had been called to return tomorrow.

 

“I’m sorry Lalah,” I apologized once we were walking back to the line of wagons. The fair grounds were quiet, the other events already quit for the day. “You need not come with me tomorrow, I can bring a book or something to read to hold him at bay. I know how boring you find the archery competition. You should go watch the joust so you can give me a run down on the favorites for the final day.”

 

“Are you sure?” Delilah queried, hope in both her eyes and voice.

 

“Yes,” I laughed lightly, eyeing her with mock sterness “Now don’t argue and tell me you wouldn’t mind, because we both know you would.”

 

“No arguments,” Delilah joined my laughter, her delicate hands coming up to wave away the false excuses as if they weren’t about to trip from her lips. “I’m sorry but one day of watching archery was enough for me.”

 

From the corner of my eye, I saw a flurry of colorful movement causing me to glance towards the frenzied motion. I saw the seer standing at the opening of her tent, haloed by light from inside. Her eyes were locked with mine as she beckoned me closer. Before I could process the movement, I veered in her direction.

 

“What are you doing?” My best friend breathed in a hushed tone. “Why is she waving at you or us? And most importantly, why are you going over there?”

 

“I don’t know,” my voice came out muted and slightly dazed as I came to a stop in front of the garishly dressed seer.

 

“Of course you don’t know, my dears,” hummed the Seer in a thick Rivaini accent, her eyes taking both of us in, before focusing on me, “You have no answers, but  _ I _ was called here to give them to you.”

 

“Called? I don’t think so,” Delilah scoffed by my side, before tugging on my arm. “Let’s go Elie.”

 

I leaned into her pull on my arm, but my feet remained unmoved as the Seer’s purple eyes seemed to glow and flare for a moment before she blinked and smirked, deepening the smile lines around her hypnotic eyes. 

 

“Go with your sister if you must, or come into my tent for the answers I am all to willing to give,” the seer stepped to the side, her arm holding open the tent flaps as if she knew the choice before I had even made it.

 

“Answers? More like half-truths,” Delilah mocked, tugging on my arm again. “I’ve dealt with your kind before, always a price too high to pay for poor advice and little in the means of peace. And we’re not sisters. Let’s get out of here.”

 

“Not by birth, but you  _ are _ sisters of the heart,” the seer nodded, setting the tiny medallions and bells lining her shawl to jingle lightly. “And there will be no payment, this is information you  _ must  _ know. It is what brought me to this faraway land when I have only ever wanted to be home with my family, leading my people.”

 

I stepped into the seer’s tent. Brightly colored pillows and sheer scarves clashed and melded together managing to create a comfortable, intimate space. A small, low table set up in the very center, a deck of cards, a few crystals and a large clear glass ball set upon its center. A small heater sat in one corner of the tent, warding off the chill from outside while burning sweet smelling incense that filled the tent with a haze of smoke. Lanterns with rose colored glass hung from various supports creating a muted light that wouldn’t have accounted for the halo I had seen around the Seer once she had my attention.

 

“You cannot be serious!” Delilah hissed at me, hovering at the entrance to the tent next to the seer. When I remained mute she gave a long sigh before stepping into the tent, her hand gripping my arm again. “I cannot believe you are making me do this but if I even sense something off we are out of here.”

 

“That would be impossible since you already believe something is wrong with my people,” the Seer’s voice was clipped, as she moved to the other side of the table and situated herself upon a pile of cushions, motioning for us to do the same.

 

Delilah gasped while I began to sit down on the plump pillows, my bow and arrow set up nearby. My best friend let off a string of grumbled curses before joining us on the pillows set up on the floor around the table.

 

“You may call me Madam Asha,” the seer began, placing her hands on the table and beckoning for mine. “I am named for a queen in our country’s history but that is not important. The news my ancestors want me to pass on is what’s important. It will be clearer once I have your hands.”

 

“Don’t you need my hands too?” Lalah prodded, when I hesitated to give Asha my hands, suddenly questioning why I had even entered into the tent.

 

The garishly dressed woman sighed in frustration, “As you wish, but I thought you said you did not believe in such things.”

 

Asha motioned for our hands, impatience beginning to show on her aged face. Once she had one in each, she closed her eyes and began rocking slightly.

 

“There is hardship in your future, both of your futures,” the Seer began, her voice sounded different and I heard Delilah snort in disbelief at her words. The aging wise woman’s eyes snapped open to stare at my best friend, gone were her purple irises, instead they were white causing us both to gasp. “Entwined but separate, events in your life will pull you apart but only after you conquer the evil will you two find each other again returning to your role as sisters and friends. But the pain doesn’t end there, mistrust could keep you from connecting if you let it.”

 

I glanced at Delilah, gone from her delicate face was the disbelief as she stared at the Seer in rapt interest causing me to chuckle slightly. I felt a squeeze on my hand, pulling my attention back to Asha.

 

“Your true love is already at hand, but you are separated by a bond. He walks beside you, he is your equal and has known you your whole life,” Delilah squealed in excitement beside me, bumping me with her shoulder and earning a glare of disapproval from those white, seemingly sightless eyes. “Friend, lover, survivor, hero, and a chance to be queen if you choose to be. You will know the hardships of battle, blood and gore. Pain from road weary feet and the fear of being chased. Dreary darkness in a threatened world. Many years from now when you have found a way to look passed the roles society will give you will you find your happiness together. Your future, your love will be tested and in the end, only your forgiveness and understanding will help him heal and return to you.”

 

I swallowed thickly when the Seer stopped talking, my eyes dropping to the table before I let out a breath I wasn’t even aware of holding.

 

“What about me?” Delilah wiggled on her cushion in excitement. “Will I find love too?”

 

Asha smiled softly before her now purple gaze turned to Delilah.

 

“Of course, my dear, but only after a dangerous enemy has been slain and the world has been changed will you find the man you are meant to be with.”

 

“You mean nobleman,” My best friend leaned forward, giddiness in every line of her body.

 

“I’m afraid not,” the Seer corrected. “A nobleman’s wife is not what I see for your future, but I do see happiness. And children.”

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Delilah scoffed beside me, anger causing her back to snap straight and rigid before rapidly standing. “Let’s go, this woman doesn’t know anything. I  _ will  _ marry a nobleman,  _ that  _ is my destiny.”

 

“Don’t be so quick to dismiss my words,” the Seer warned, remaining seated as I followed my best friend’s example and began to rise from the cushions. “You were meant to hear them, please carry them with you always, let them guide you.”

 

“Thank you Madam Asha,” I nodded to the Seer, still seated on her throne of pillows, as I grabbed my bow and quiver.

 

“No, my child,” the aging woman waved away my words before an earnest look suffused her face.  _ “Thank you.” _

 

I stepped from the tent, letting the flap fall closed before realizing that Delilah was already meters from me, striding away rapidly. I rushed to catch up, surprised her slippers and skirts weren’t keeping her from walking so quickly.

 

“Not marry a nobleman, it’s absolutely preposterous,” Delilah sneered.

 

“I thought you didn’t want to be married off to some nobleman. So why does it matter?” I pressed, knowing she needed to get passed the Seer’s words.

 

“It doesn’t,” Delilah relented, but her furious pace remained the same.

 

“Well, just because you don’t marry a nobleman doesn’t mean you can’t make another dream come true,” I reminded my friend, looping our arms to get her to slow down. “I seem to remember a young pig-tailed friend absolutely  _ obsessed _ with knights in shining armor, swore they were better than handsome princes. You used to watch many of our guardsmen in their early morning practices and dragged me off to a fair number of your guard's practices as well. Oh wait, that was not that long ago, when I was just learning to fire a bow.”

 

My best friend came to a sudden standstill, almost pulling me over with our looped arms due to her stopping. Delilah stared at the dark ground for several long moments before she looked at me and shrugged, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

 

“Better?” I asked, a smile on my lips.

 

“Better,” Lalah nodded, beginning to walk again at a more sedate pace, taking me with her.

 

“Good,” my smile grew with a feeling of triumph as I fell into step beside her. 

 

We walked the rest of the way to the wagons in silence, enjoying the quiet of the evening now that everyone was gone for the tournament grounds. We were ushered onto the last cart, sitting with our legs swinging out of the back. We clung to the sides as it began the wiggle, trundle and jump through the cobblestone streets of Highever on the way to the castle.

 

“Do you believe her?” Delilah finally asked, uncertainty in her tone as she leaned towards me so the wagon driver couldn’t hear our conversation.

 

“She seemed rather certain,” I hedged, staring at the ground we passed over. “And she came a long way to deliver her message, I get the feeling that she only came to talk to me but this was the first time we had run into each other.”

 

“Yes, but she gave you such a dark fortune,” my best friend tried to argue. “I mean it as good at first, talking about Nathaniel-”

 

“How do you know that was whom she meant?” I turned to give her a sharp glare before it turned playful. “Maybe it’s about Gilmore, the squire who can’t dance. Or any of the other nobleman across the country. Many of the older men has known me my whole life. Like Teagan, I seem to remember a friend having a mild crush on him for a time, also not too long ago.”

 

I watched Delilah’s cheeks darken with the reminder.

 

“Even you thought he was handsome,” Delilah countered before sticking her tongue out at me making us both laugh. “But seriously, most fortune tellers give a much brighter outlook. It sounds like you’re going to have nothing but hardship, how can you look forward to what she said? Surely it’s a crock of shite.”

 

I snorted, shrugging the shoulder closest to her so she can see the gesture.

 

“I don’t know what to think, I don’t think she’s a normal fortune teller, I think she’s also a mage. Once I was sitting in her tent, I couldn’t even remember why I was there.”

 

“You think she compelled you,” Delilah gasped in shock, leaning even closer.

 

“I suppose it’s possible,” the shrug evident in my voice, “many of the Rivaini seers are mages, at least according to the histories Aldous has been teaching me. Very few are charlatans and con-artists, but they do exist. They highly revere their ancestors and even allow them to possess them, according to many writings.”

 

“Well, I think it’s a load of bollocks,” my best friend finished, crossing her arms in frustration. “Our future is our own to decide, it’s not written in the stars or can be figured out by some possessing ghost long dead.”

 

I said nothing to Delilah as the cart continued through town, thinking only of the Seer’s words and the rather bleak future she painted for me. A part of me wanted to agree with my best friend in the hopes it was complete and utter shite, but another, deeper, part of me feared her words would come true.

 

My thoughts in that moment didn’t matter in the end, by morning I would forget the Seer’s warning and wouldn’t think of them again for more than a decade.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14**

**Elissa**

 

Finally, the last day of my family’s tournament dawned, and I felt relief wash through me that soon life at the castle would return to normal. Then I wouldn’t have to fear running into Nathaniel. She spent most of this week with me, staying in my room most nights, sitting next to me when our families dined together, even coming to parts of the archery competition even after I said she need not. We still hadn’t secured permission for her to stay on at Highever, that was a task we hoped to complete today, before the end of the festivities.

 

Sadly, I was eliminated from the archery section before the final round, the longer and longer distances proved to be my downfall as a new archer. This meant spending the last part of the tournament actually dressed as a lady, like Mother wished. A secret part of me only desired to watch the rest of the archery portion, hoping to see the eldest Howe triumph but I quickly squashed that part with the shame that still gripped me from the way I shamelessly threw myself at him, only to have him push me away, which is why I avoided him as much as possible.

 

Today, however, I couldn’t avoid him.

 

The final round of the joust was occurring today, and both our families were in the stands, watching the knights competing. Nathaniel was sitting at my side, and what once thrilled me, now only filled me with dread and shame. In order to avoid the same mantra in my head, my eyes traveled in the direction of Fergus, and I could tell by his body language how much he wished he could have competed in the joust this year. He was tense and on the edge of the bench seat, parts of his body flicking in subtle movements with the jousters as if he was mentally trying to assist them in their competition.

 

I smiled before returning my eyes to the match in front of me. The last of the matches today would declare the winner of the joust, the last event still to be decided. The joust was the longest running event, because of the amount of time each round took to set up. Outside of archery, which won by sheer size and number of competitors, because every farmer, hunter, and shepherd entered into the archery portion. The joust required special training and lots of money, which meant that it was usually dominated by noblemen and knights sponsored by their noble patrons whom they guarded when not in practice.

 

The current pair of jousters seemed evenly matched, and it was difficult to tell who would end up emerging the victor and moving on to the next round of the competition. The crowd was just eating up the exciting, even match of each competitor, cheers erupted from the crowd no matter who received points as each match progressed.

 

In the final round, the last two jousters were set up at the blocks, their horses dancing anxiously from side to side and pawed the dirt with their heavy hooves, ready to be let loose by their rider. I leaned forward in my seat, knowing this would be the deciding factor and the grand prize winner. 

 

The horses were spurred on by their riders, and both horses took off like shots, racing along the tilt towards their counterpart. Several times the horses leapt along the rail and each time the rider would force the lance away with their shields resulting in unbroken lances and even points.

 

The two knights lingered in the middle of the tilt, seemingly joking and laughing before returning to their sides. Once again they readied themselves, and the horses tore off in a flurry of dirt and hooves. My eyes widened as I realized one jouster’s lance was riding high and would take out his opponent’s face. I began feeling queasy at the thought of watching a man possibly become decapitated. Not wanting to witness such a garish display if the lance struck true, I covered my eyes and turned away.

 

The backs of my hand met warm, supple leather and I jerked back to find my hands pressed against Nathaniel’s chest. A warm chuckle rolled through him, and I felt a strong arm band around my back, pulling me back into his warmth. The clang of metal made me jump slightly and burrow into his neck earning me another chuckle.

 

“Is he hurt?” My voice sounded small as I muttered the question into his chest, not daring to check until I got Nathaniel’s reassurance.

 

“Why don’t you look and see, Elissa?” The warmth in his voice when he said my name pulled me from his neck and I stared up at him, a smirk pulling at his lips and made his grey eyes dance slightly as they looked down at me. 

 

He broke eye contact long enough to motion to the tilt behind me before meeting my eyes once more. I felt reluctant to turn away from him, feeling a moment of glee roll through me with his close proximity. But turn away from him I did, looking back out of the field, both riders still possess intact heads, one lance is thrown to the ground while the other is clutched in the lucky riders hand.

 

“He threw the lance away at the last moment so he wouldn’t strike his opponent,” Nathaniel’s deep, quiet voice rumbled in my ear and the warmth of his breath tickled at the little hairs on my neck and made me shiver. 

 

“Does that make him a fool, or a worthy contender, to forfeit the round so he wouldn’t injure his opponent?”

 

“Nate! How can you even ask that sort of question?” I looked at him, feeling aghast as I stared at him with large eyes.

 

“It’s meant to be a discussion,” Nate laughs lightly, his fingers dancing idly along the embroidery worked into the bodice of my dress. I became more aware of how close we were as warmth bloomed across my body, especially where his touch seemed to linger. His actions so at odds with the way he treated me a few days ago, pushing me away like I was some slattern unworthy of him.

 

“It makes him a contender,” I nod, not wanting to break the magic weaving between us, connecting us.

 

“And if I said I thought it made him a fool, how would you convince me to your way of thinking?”

 

“He cared more for the wellbeing of his opponent, this is supposed to be a game of fun. There’s rivalry to be sure, but it’s intended to be all in good fun. To put someone on death’s bed, in harm’s way or outright kill them would be the foolish thing. During times of peace, killing or harming someone for personal benefit is unsportsmanlike, foolish and worthy of condemnation. So he acted as a true contender, putting aside his own ego, to ensure the wellbeing of his opponent.”

 

I was surprised by my own vehement words, but Nate just looked at me with an inscrutable expression, his free hand covering his mouth as he regarded me with his pale eyes.

 

“I agree with you,” my fellow archer mumbled, before moving his hand away from his mouth, to smile at me chuckling lightly, the sound rumbling out from his chest and vibrating along my skin. “Don’t want you to think I’m an unreasonable arse.”

 

“You are an arse,” I declared, finding myself thumping him on the chest. He caught my hand easily, the warmth of his touch felt as if it was seeping into my bones. His thumb running along the back of my hand in a surprisingly gentle gesture, and sending my mind reeling with a signal that he cared for me.

 

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before I felt Nathaniel stiffen beside me, then he dropped my hand and slide away from me on the bench. I gasped in surprise, looking at him but he avoided looking at me, keeping his gaze fixed pointedly on the tilt where the closing exhibition battle was being set up. 

 

I sighed in resignation, lost in what could be causing his capricious nature. I caught Fergus’s eye on me from his place in the middle of the chaos on the tilt, but he turned and set about some task, talking furiously with a few helmeted performers. I huffed, desperate to leave but stuck remaining, knowing my Mother would want me to stay until the end of the awards ceremony, staring at my hands folded in my lap. The warmth of Nate’s hand holding mine had already begun to fade and a part of me mourned its loss as I still reeled from his sudden withdrawal, yet again.

 

I knew Fergus had planned to showcase our family’s legacy for the region with The Battle of White River, and he had worked out some great surprise that he was certain would make this tournament the one everyone talked about. However, he kept the surprise to himself, not even sharing it with Father or Mother as he planned the mock-battle. I wasn’t entirely sure why we continued to hold these mock battles, the people always cheered for the same side, and it was always the winners. I found them boring and tedious but the people seemed to find them thrilling, despite knowing the outcomes.

 

With Delilah sitting on the other side of the box with Thomas, I had no one to keep me company since Nathaniel was doing a very good impression of a stone: unmoving and silent. I sighed in boredom before standing to leave the arena until the exhibition was over. Luck was not with me, my mother noticed me moving right away.

 

“Elissa, don’t wander too far, you should be here to support Fergus.”

 

“Yes Mother,” I glanced over at Delilah but she seemed deep in conversation. The man who was quickly becoming my bane was watching my departure, and just before I stepped from view of our families in the stands I stuck my tongue out at him, knowing he was the reason for my sudden change in mood.

 

I had allowed myself to hope that he felt for me and that hope had been dashed once more. I thought the look in his eyes was a sign he cared for me as I cared for him, but apparently that wasn’t true. Delilah had been calling her brother a fool, but he wasn’t the fool, I was. I was done throwing myself at a man who had no interest in me, who seemed to want to string me along.

 

_ The Void take you, Nathaniel, I will be no one’s fool. _


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15**

**Nathaniel**

 

It pained me to watch her walk out of her family’s box, knowing my weakness was what was causing her so much pain. How had she not realized that I cared for her but was being held back by a promise to her brother? I couldn’t begin to fathom, especially when she noticed Fergus staring at us just a moment ago, but without enough information I suppose it would be tough to put the pieces together, or even know there was a puzzle in front of them.

 

The sight of her pink tongue stuck between those full lips made me groan to myself. I know she was angry with me, but all I could think about was the feel of that tongue on my skin, the way I could coax my way into her mouth to feel my tongue against hers. When I had made the promise with Fergus, I had forgotten the way I was drawn to her, and I had no way of knowing how difficult it would be to stay away, to not touch her, feel her presence next to me.

 

I wanted to protect her, cherish her, awaken her senses, and I couldn’t do a bloody thing for more than a year. I bit down the growl that threatened to break out at that thought, my head falling into my palms as I hunched into the bench seat that felt so cold now without Elissa beside me.

 

“You promised!” Fergus’s voice hissed next to my head, and I felt him slide into the bench beside me, crowding against me.

 

“I’m trying, I can promise you that much,” I whispered, keeping my head in my hands, exhaustion suddenly pulling at my very being.

 

“If I hadn’t noticed you, would you have kissed her in front of the whole of the region?” Fergus demanded, still quiet with barely suppressed anger.

 

“I…” I finally lifted my head to look at my friend, sorrow pinching my vision. “I don’t know, it’s possible.”

 

“I thought you were better than this,” Fergus leaned even closer, and I had no illusions that he would have punched me again if we were in private. “She’s barely fourteen, she needs to be sixteen before my parent can even negotiate an arrangement. I will not allow you to sully her before she’s been presented, you of all people should know how strict the laws are about nobility.”

 

“I know, I know,” I assured my friend, holding my palms out in surrender. “I’m trying, but I feel drawn to her. I  _ want _ to be around her, talk to her, learn about her. Sure, I want to kiss her and hold her too, but I can try to hold that at bay. If you deny me the minimum of her company, the rest becomes unbearable to resist. Surely you must be able to understand, you must feel something similar with Oriana.”

 

“Fine,” my mate let out a long drawn out sigh, all fight dissipating with the mention of his own relationship and the parallels we were both feeling and facing. “Look, Elissa and Delilah already secured permission for Delilah to stay on another week or more. I don’t think my parents would mind if you stayed on as well, we’ll talk to our parents at the banquet after the awards ceremony. You can stay on, see what Elissa is really like when she’s not ‘being forced to pretend to be a lady.’ Her words, not mine. This week hasn’t been a good example of who she has become since you left. I can keep you from destroying my sister’s already precarious reputation, something she did on her own at a banquet a year ago when a noble’s son tried to take liberties with her and she punched him in the face, breaking his nose.”

 

Fergus snorted a laugh, a smile lighting up his features and making him more like the friend I’ve always known. I could only stare with round, disbelieving eyes for a moment while I reined in my demons demanding to know who the stupid prat was so I could do so much worse to him for treating Elissa so terrible. Finally I smiled as well, knowing the righteous anger that would have compelled her take care of herself and behave like the spitfire we knew.

 

“Mother had been apologetic in public, but in the privacy of our rooms she praised Elissa and gave her permission to do it again if she should find herself in that position again. Not that it’s been a problem, most of the nobles steer clear of her after the incident, until you, though I can’t imagine how you haven’t heard the stories, they spread like wildfire.”

 

“I had heard, but the fact that it was Elissa was never known to me,” I nodded, remembering vaguely about hearing the guardsmen in Denerim laughing in the tavern at the thought of some little girl punching out a noble.

 

Further conversation was interrupted with the loud cheering from the crowd as the exhibition battle began. Fergus turned to watch, crossing his arms, a smirk on his face but my attention was pulled to the whisper of footsteps behind me. Turning to look, I found Elissa returned to the box, her expression tight as she shifted on her feet, looking so much like someone who wanted to do nothing more than run and was just looking, waiting, for the chance. Her hands were clasped in front of her as she stood at the back of the box, following her mother’s command to support Fergus, as she leaned on a support beam, fiddling occasionally with the embroidery on the hem of her sleeves. Her eyes darted from place to place first in the box and then out on the tilt, purposely looking everywhere but me.

 

_ That smarts, she can’t even look at me right now.  _ I sighed internally before reluctantly turning my attention back to the performers in the middle of the tilt.  _ I suppose that’s my doing. _

 

The crowd cheered for the Fereldans and jeered for the unfortunate performers playing the Orlesians. The group seemed to have the whole of the stands eating out of their hands.

 

“Good choice, mate,” I leaned over to be heard over the cheering crowds as I praised Fergus, still sitting beside me watching it all with a critical eye.

 

“You haven’t seen the best bit yet,” my friend commented mysteriously, a smirk on his face as he folded his arms across his broad chest and relaxed back against the back of the bench. 

 

I dared to glance back at Elissa, still leaning against a support beam nearby. She seemed intent, her focus on the exhibition but not once did she cheer with the crowds, her green eyes glittering in the pale light, her normally rosy cheeks colorless and she bit down on her full lips in an attempt to hide her emotions from those of us in the box. In that moment, I was struck by just how young she was, her pale skin lending her a look of fragility that took my breath away, and I had to wonder if I would still want her years from now when that youthful bloom gave way into womanhood.

 

_ I have to be crazy to want someone so young, _ I finally turned from her, watching the performance on the field without finding too much enjoyment in the display. It wasn’t until the battle was over and the helmets removed that a hush fell over the crowd. King Maric, Prince Cailan, and Terryn Logain had been a part of exhibition.

“Fergus, how did you manage?” Terryn Cousland stood from his throne, clapping for the performers as he looked back over his shoulder at Fergus beside me with a wide smile on his aging face. When Bryce began to cheer, rather loudly, the silent crowd joined him in creating a loud cacophony that felt like it could be heard in the heavens above.

 

Fergus bore a large smile just as large as his father as he made his way through the stands to the floor down below. His surprise had been a huge success, and while he would be hard pressed to top this tournament, I don’t think that was his intent. He wanted to give his people a memory as he was training to take over the teyrnir, this was Fergus’s way of letting the people know he was up to the challenge and they were in his capable hands. And it was only the beginning, I knew my friend would come up with personal challenges each year to show the people how he would help them in the years to come.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

**Elissa**

 

I couldn’t believe that Fergus had managed to convince the King, Prince and other Teyrn to participate in this exhibition. But to see the people react to my brother’s accomplishment brought a little light to my suddenly very dreary day. It was a closely guarded secret that he had executed with perfection and deserved all the praise roaring through the stands at that moment. Fergus ushered the three star visitors into the family box to be greeted by all of us.

 

“Your Majesty,” my father bowed, stepping forward and bowing deeply. “You have done me a great honor appearing at my family’s humble tournament. I’m afraid I’m at a bit of a disadvantage, I had no idea you would be in attendance today.”

 

“My son wouldn’t hear otherwise,” King Maric chuckled deeply, clapping his son loudly on his armored shoulder. “He was snooping through my desk drawers one day instead of pursuing his studies and happened upon a most persuasive letter from your son. Where I was tempted to say no, Cailan wouldn’t hear anything but ‘yes’.”

 

“To live the histories I’ve always read so much about, how were you going to say no Father?” Cailan chimed in, his eyes dancing with mirth and excitement. “It was like getting to travel back in time, without all the impending death.”

 

“For those that lived it, it’s not nearly so exciting,” Teyrn Logain gruffed, standing slightly separate from his king. “And always a harsh reminder of the hardships we suffered to get our country here.”

 

“Of course,” Cailan breezed through the Teyrn’s statement with a slight flick of his hand, his borrowed armor rattling slightly with the movement. “But to be a hero, I can think of no better story.”

 

Maric chuckled and Logain sighed, as the crowned Prince continued to look a little starry eyed with his accomplishment today.

 

“If I may Your Majesty,” my Father interrupted what may have become an argument between the King’s oldest friend and his son. “You remember my wife, Teyrna Eleanor. You’ve met my son Fergus already today, and then of course there’s my youngest, Elissa, though it’s been a number of years since you last saw her in Denerim.”

 

The King smiled at each of us in turn, a slight nod of his head in deference, while the other Teyrn stood nearby, looking decidedly bored, until I was introduced and he looked hard at me.

 

“You look to be about the same age as my own daughter, Anora,” Mac Tier’s eyes looked calculating as he took me in. “Perhaps I  _ should _ have brought her along, it’s been a few years since she has been around other noble girls her own age. My own fault, really, I keep her busy with her studies, now that she’s betrothed to the Prince she must be ready for her duties to lead our country.”

 

I nod along with the Teyrn’s words, knowing there’s really nothing to say to his musings. My eyes dart over to Delilah when Logain breaks eye contact, and I see her grey eyes round as saucers as she stares at me in understanding. Few knew that my reputation was precarious because of Anora. After the noble boy had imbibed too much alcohol, she convinced him I was interested in him but was too shy to do anything, though I was decidedly not. It was a secret I discovered after punching him when he tried to put his hand up my skirts. He swore and screamed at me while blood poured down his face, and the truth poured free in his painful anger like the blood spattering on his fancy embroidered tunic. 

 

I had only related to Mother half the tale, not wanting to make an enemy of the other Teyrnir and our future country’s Princess, plus I wasn’t sure if Mother would believe another woman capable of putting another of their sex in that position. The last thing I had wanted was to be labeled a liar on top of all the other names that came about from that occasion but I told Delilah, knowing she would believe me. 

 

“We would have been more than happy to have her here,” my Father smiled, smoothly, looking to continue introductions. “Then of course we have my good friend, and the Arl of Amaranthine, Rendon Howe and his family.”

 

“Your Highnesses, Your Lordship,” the Arl bowed from his waist. “Your surprise participation will be the talk of the tournament across the land this year, I wager. You remember my eldest Nathaniel, he just returned from training in Denerim as a squire under one of your knights, then my daughter Delilah and my youngest Thomas. Unfortunately my wife was feeling under the weather and began the journey home yesterday, she will be quite grieved when she discovers she missed this opportunity.”

 

“I hope you will send along our regards for a speedy recovery for your wife,” the King replied smoothly, concern furrowing his brow.

 

“You’re very kind, Your Highness,” Nathaniel’s father bowed again, but I noticed a slight tic near his eye before his deep bow covered it up. “I shall do precisely that when I see her next.”

 

Once introductions were complete, Cailan made a beeline for me, surprising me greatly, usual other nobles preferred Delilah’s milder and easier temperament. He took up my hand and held it near his lips, his hot breath cascading over the sensitive skin near my wrist.

 

“Lady Elissa,” the young Prince smiled up at me, still curled over my hand. “The stories of the nobles who travel through Denerim do not do you justice. To hear their stories one would think you had two heads or snakes for hair, but you are quite beautiful, aren’t you? Pity I was not prepared.” Cailan winked at me with those words before finally kissing the backs of my fingers and I felt my cheeks heat from his words.

 

“Your Highness is very kind,” I smiled, pulling my hand from his grasp with as much force as I dared when he seemed to want to continue to hold onto my fingers. “But I think our esteemed guests would be more comfortable out of their heavy armor, there’s still time before the awards ceremony is set to begin while the last of the exhibition is cleared.”

 

I turned to Mother, hoping my diplomatic thought would be noticed and her sparkling green eyes showed her pride as she smoothly took over.

 

“My daughter is correct, if it pleases you, Your Highnesses, my Lord,” Mother motioned towards the back of the box and a servant magically standing ready to serve our honored guests. “We can have you brought to our family’s tournament tent to change into more comfortable attire. The awards ceremony will seem much longer than it is if you are confined to your armor.”

 

The Theirens chuckled before the King agreed. “Sound advice, my Lady, we would be remiss not to take it.”

 

With that the three left our family box, and the titter of conversation erupted among everyone following their departure. Delilah flitted over to me from the other side of the stands.

 

“Oh my, did you see the way he looked at you?” My best friend gushed, taking up my hands and giggling like she was falling in love. “You must be very honored to be singled out like that.”

 

“He’s betrothed,” I deadpan, lifting a skeptic eyebrow to her over-enthusiasm.

 

“So?” Lalah pressed. “All the nobles say it’s a marriage of convenience, not love. Maybe he’ll break it off if he falls in love with you.”

 

I hear a soft growl following Delilah’s words, and though my mouth opens to deny her words, I fall silent trying to listen for the noise again. I tilt my head to the side, trying to concentrate and Delilah gives me a strange look for staying silent for so long.

 

“Did you hear that?” I finally query, glancing at her.

 

“Hear what?” Lalah pauses for a few moments, apparently listening with me. “I don’t hear anything except our families talking.”

 

“I thought I heard something growl,” I glance towards the stairs of the box, still listening. Several moments pass before I finally give up. “I must have imagined it.”

 

“I sincerely hope that wasn't a terrible attempt to change the subject,” my brunette friend pretends to pout.

 

“To your ridiculous pondering, no it wasn't but I'm also not going to dignify it with a response.” I shake my head, looking around the box.

 

I notice Nathaniel standing close to both of our fathers, but his eyes are on me instead of their conversation. There's a strange glint in his eyes and I shiver from the sudden desire to fall on my knees and beg for his forgiveness.

 

“Ridiculous,” I mutter out loud without thought, trying to chase away my own feelings as I watched the older archer storm out of the family’s box.

 

“I heard you the first time, you needn’t repeat it,” Delilah scoffed, looking put out as she crossed her arms. “If I’m so 'ridiculous,’ perhaps I should go back to Thomas and Adria.”

 

“Please don't,” I reached out, touching her crossed arms, “I was merely thinking out loud, I was not repeating myself. Forgive me?”

 

“Fine,” Delilah loosed an exaggerated sigh, “But only because the next few weeks would be an absolute bore if we weren't talking. I might actually have to go home.”

 

“Maker forbid,” I laughed softly, as we sat down together for the first time this tournament. I leaned closer to her to whisper in her ear. “So who do you truly want to see me with? Since you're bandying men about, I know you have an opinion.”

 

“Oh!” Delilah taps her chin with a single finger, staring out over distance in thought. “I think you could make a lovely queen, strong head on your shoulders thanks to your mother and father but the idea of having you for a sister is just too good, and fills my heart with so much joy that I would have to go with Nathaniel. Anyone could be queen, only you could fill the role as my sister.”

 

I smile at Delilah’s precise thoughts, sparing no details before giving her a squeeze with one arm.

 

“We already are sister, you know,” I whisper fiercely before releasing her.

 

“Oh I know, but you marrying my brother would make it official-”

 

“Marry your brother?” Rendon interrupted Delilah, seeming to overheard parts of our conversation. “Have you finally begun to consider marrying Thomas, Lady Elissa?”

 

“No, My Lord,” I looked up at my father’s closest friend, my eyes wide with surprise.

 

“But she just…” the Arl trailed off looking put upon.

 

“Yes, Father, we were talking about Nathaniel,” Delilah tittered quietly, a noise I only heard from her when she was nervous.

 

“N-nathaniel?” Rendon trailed off, blanching as he stared at me. I watched emotions play across the surface of his face, but unable to name any of them before they flitted into the next.

 

“Just silly, fanciful talk,” I giggled helplessly, trying to cover for our conversation that was never meant to be overheard.

 

“I see,” the Arl stared at me a moment longer, a strange light in his eyes I couldn’t name.

 

We were saved from further difficult conversation by the return of our three surprise guests. The King seemed to glow with energy and I realized it wasn’t just his son that had enjoyed surprising everyone that was here for the closing events. I was sure the news of King Maric’s efforts would spread like wildfire among the nobility, and maybe incite some jealousy and petty squabbles at the next Landsmeet, but I knew Father and Fergus could handle whatever arose.

 

Cailan bound up the steps, behind the two older men, his eyes immediately searching me out and a wide smile lighting up his face. Without seeking leave, he left the two other guests and headed for my straightaway.

 

“My Lady,” he bowed again, and I folded my hands in my lap to prevent him from grabbing my hand and kissing it again, a move he didn’t miss but merely made his grin widen. “I was hoping I could beg to sit with you so you could tell me a little about yourself, but I see your company has already been claimed.”

 

“Nonsense,” Delilah exclaimed when Cailan turned away, a dejected look on his face. “There’s plenty of space with us.”

 

I turned to stare at Delilah, surprised by her sudden change in attitude when moments ago she would have preferred her brother over the Crowned Prince. She just gave a small shrug and tossed her dark hair behind her shoulder and she scooted closer to the edge of the bench to make room for Cailan.

 

“Wonderful!” the Prince applauded oblivious to our silent stand-off before sliding into the seat next to me, crowding into me. His arm slid across the back of the bench seat behind me. He was gripping the back of the seat making room for his broad chest but it felt as if his arm was coming around behind me and I found myself squirming slightly and sliding closer to Delilah, which only prompted the Crowned Prince to scoot over as well.

 

Sitting next to Cailan I felt crowded, like there wasn’t enough air to breath and while I had difficulty breathing around Nathaniel it was from excitement, not confinement. Cailan began telling the tale of convincing his father, the King, of committing to attend our family’s tournament, but my attention was pulled when I heard another growl.

 

I turned my head towards the noise and saw Nathaniel standing at the top of the stairs, having returned for the start of the awards ceremony. Sweat poured down the side of his face, his dark hair plastered to his head in a thick ponytail gathered at the back of his head when before it had been left hanging to his shoulders in a dark sheet. Anger sparked in his eyes, turning his grey orbs into pools of liquid silver, his lip lifted in a sneer before he growled again and moved to the other side of the stands. I felt sorrow well up inside before I turned back to listen to the attentive prince at my side.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17**

**Nathaniel**

 

I couldn’t believe the amount of attention the Prince was paying towards Elissa, and my sister was cheering for the whole thing, already planning how the stupid royal would break off his betrothal once he fell madly in love with Elissa. I had watched the two plot and laugh about the way the insipid princeling was fawning over her. I had witnessed the way her hand trembled and the way her voice shook slightly when Cailan had kissed her hand. It took everything in me not to launch myself at the armored interloper as jealousy made me see red. I had to eventually leave the Cousland’s box in order to gain better control of my emotions.

 

_ Did I truly mean so little to her that she can’t see the pain she causes me and takes delight in planning a future that should be ours? _ I kicked at a rock with my boot, sending the stone skittering along the ground but it paled in comparison to the need to strike out at something that coursed through my veins.

 

I walked across the tournament grounds, looking for the target dummies set up nearby for melee practice. Several blunted swords lay scattered about the area, I picked up the first one I found, my hand tightening around the grip so tight my knuckles turned white. It had been awhile since I had practice my swordplay, finding archery a joy while in Denerim, but the grip was just long enough for my hand to feel like it was meant to be there.

 

I struck out at the closest dummy, not caring about proper form, in an effort to stave of my anger. The strange wooden shaped head became the center of my attention, now instead of plain, warm wood, it turned into Cailan’s fair hair, with tanned skin with a perpetual smile on his face. As I struck out at the dummy harder and harder, I heard Cailan’s laughter in the air, haunting me and making me attack the dummy with even greater force trying to exorcise the demon of seeing him flirt with Elissa.

 

_ How could no one see she was mine? Mine to have. Mine to claim. Mine to comfort. To hold, to kiss.  _ I let off a loud growl as I struck out at the dummy’s midriff, the blunted sword bouncing harmlessly off the hardened wood and vibrating my hand. The vibrations numbed my hand and the sword fell uselessly to the ground.

 

“One should never attack in anger, it clouds your vision.” A gravely voice interrupted my internal torment, and I turned to see Teyrn Mac Tir nearby. Gone was the armor I had seen him in previously and he watched me with crossed arms.

 

“Lordship, I didn’t see you there,” I bowed properly to Logain.

 

“Obviously, but I think that was the point, was it not?” A smirk lit up his face for a moment before he returned to his normally bored expression. “The Prince is unobservant, do not take his actions to heart. I can speak with him, if you prefer.”

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Lordship.”

 

“Don’t you?” Mac Tir looked at me in disbelief. “The Cousland girl is yours, yes?”

 

“No, your Lordship is mistaken, there had been no agreement.” I shook my head, bending over to retrieve the sword I dropped now that feeling has returned to my hand. I have to push my hair out of my face when I stand upright again, and I huff in frustration.

 

“Agreement or not, I see the way you look at her and she you, only a fool like the Prince wouldn’t notice.” 

 

Logain motioned for the sword, stepping closer to me. I felt a surge of hope in my chest as I handed over the weapon. He examined the weapon, sighting down the weapon to check for balance.

 

“Your Lordship is very free with his...insults,” I hedge carefully.

 

“And why should I not? I tell him the same to his face,” Logain slaps the grip back into my palm. “Crude weapon, but effective for target dummies, I suppose you don’t want your best weapon to be chipped away during practice. I have helped raise that boy from swaddling, I see little purpose in minding my words.”

 

He adjusted my hold on the weapon, before giving instructions on my stance. To fight with a sword again, instead of my bow, was strange at first but the old memories resurfaced and soon I was taking quick attack orders in quick succession as Logain barked them out, striking out at the target dummy in the exact pattern needed.

 

“I think that’s enough for now, the ceremony should be starting soon,” Logain interrupted my attacks. “You were rusty at first, but you settled into the weapon. I have heard of your archery skills, but don’t forget to practice with the blade too. In close quarters you’ll be more thankful of a blade in your hand than an arrow.”

 

“Thank you, Lordship,” I bowed again, breathing hard from the exertions he knew I needed to forget my anger. He seemed to understand all too well my position.

 

“You’re welcome, and enough of the ‘Lordship’ shite, call me Logain. I was a farmer once a time, nobility was handed to me, I wasn’t born into it.”

 

I chuckled, nodding before setting the weapon back on a stand, instead of abandoned on the ground like I had found it. When I turned Logain was gone, and in his place was my Father.

 

“Father,” I breathed in surprise, still puffing slightly from the exertions Logain had put me through.

 

“Why on earth would you be interested in tying yourself to that horrid snake?” Father demanded before I had taken two steps in his direction. “I saw her in there flirting with the Prince, do you honestly think a child that vapid and capricious could honestly want you? She’s throwing herself at someone who isn’t even available.”

 

“Father, how can you say that?” I stare at him with an open mouth. “I thought you wanted to tie our family to theirs in an attempt to reunite our lands.”

 

“Tie her to Thomas,” the man who was my older mirror image corrected. “He would know how to keep her to heel, you would let her walk all over you.”

 

“I care for her Father,” I started to argue.

 

“Well bully for you, this isn’t about feelings. You’re a noble, this is about standing. Nobles don’t marry for love, they marry to further ambition, lands, money, titles.”

 

“We could have all that if I marry Elissa-”

 

“You will not marry that brat while I live, your Mother and I will make sure of it. We didn’t marry for love, in fact we can barely stand each other.”

 

“The Teyrn and Teyrna have love-”

 

“You are not a part of the bloody Couslands! Now get that through your thick skull, I know what’s best for you. Your Mother and I will find a suitable match for you, and it won’t be to the Cousland chit.” I watched Father turn on his heel and walk away a few steps before looking at me over his shoulder. “Besides, I’m sure she in her family’s box already flirting with the Prince, would she do that if she actually cared for you and not her standing? And do something with your hair, you look unsightly.”

 

I watched my Father walk away, unease settling into my gut and making my hands tremble. I followed behind my Father at a more sedate pace, pulling out a leather thong and pulling back my sweat-dampened hair into a fast tail at the back of my head. As I walked, I found myself praying that my Father wasn’t correct. That Elissa cared for me, she wouldn’t be sitting with the Prince, she would be waiting for me to sit by her side.

 

_ Logain is right, Father is wrong. Logain is right, Father is wrong.  _ Each step was my prayer repeated over and over again, hope and dread whirling around my gut making me feel nauseous. As I climbed the stairs the prayer changed with each step.  _ Father is wrong. Father is wrong. Father is wrong. Father is... _

 

_ Father is right. _ There sat Elissa between Delilah and Cailan, his arm draped around her as she pressed into his side. I made a noise without thought and the young woman I cared for turned to look at me. A small smile on her face that faded when she saw me before I turned away unable to handle the sight of her in another man’s arms. I heard her giggle at something Cailan was saying and it only drove the dagger of pain deeper into my heart.

 

I looked up to see my Father, a look of regret on his face before he patted the seat next to him, silently offering his shoulder if I so chose. I slumped into the seat next to him, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. 

 

“You were right Father, how did I not see?”

 

“Because you didn’t want to see, you were blinded by hope, my son. But don’t worry, I’ll find a match worthy of you, mark my words.”

 

And while I wanted to trust my father, my heart had other plans. It needed proof before it was ready to give up. As I half-listened to Father’s attempts to console me, I was already trying to figure out a way to find out how Elissa really felt.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18**

**Elissa**

 

The awards ceremony was taking too long, sandwiched between Delilah and Prince Cailan I felt hot and sticky. I wanted to get done with all the presentations of awards and prizes. I wanted to get out of here, away from this “Elissa sandwich” I seemed to have been shoved into by my best friend. 

 

The awards ceremony finally ended and my gratitude soared as I shot out of my seat, and scurried passed Delilah’s knees, tripping slightly over her feet in my haste to be free of my predicament. I felt hot and sticky, and freedom from this box was the first thing on my mind with getting away from the Prince a close second.

 

“My lady?” I heard the masculine question and knew it was the Prince. I glanced up, noticing Cailan still seated, watching with confusion and hurt on his golden features. A tiny sliver of regret filled me at my ungraciousness but I continued on my path.

 

“I’ll see you back at the castle, Your Highness,” I flew down the steps, my slippered feet couldn’t carry me away fast enough, and I wished to the Maker I wasn’t wearing a corset so I could sprint into the woods and get lost in the serene quiet as trees towered overhead. However, I had done as Mother required so sprinting was out of the question so I dodged between tents and displayed wares, wanting to get lost in the bustle of closing. Vendors packing their wares to return to the shops in town or travel to their more distant villages.

 

_ Why does Prince Cailan make me feel unprepared to be partnered and Nate...I can’t seem to get close enough to him. _ My thoughts whirled around my head as I darted through the crowd, able to spot the ebb and flow of people and make my way undisturbed through the spaces. Just earlier today, I had been just as close to Nate, maybe even closer, and hadn’t felt uncomfortable, or desirous to leave. In fact, it had hurt my soul when he pulled away.

 

_ Can I really have decided my life’s partner inside of a week? _

 

The question was one that would haunt me for a very long time, especially when filled with doubt. I raised my eyes and discovered myself at the tournament’s archery butts. I stopped short, out of breath from my hasty walk through the grounds, and knew I needed to be here to sort my thoughts. I shuffled to the small rack of bows from our guard’s weapon cache just in case a competitor couldn’t afford a weapon but desired to compete, or if their weapon broke mid round before the weapon smith or fletcher could fix the problem.

 

I tested the draw of the bows on the rack, taking the one with a similar feel to my own bow. I snagged a quiver of arrows and made my way to an easy distance. Lining up my shot, I knew there were easier ways to sort through my feelings, my fears, but archery practice was where I felt the most like myself. Each loosed arrow was another thought released from my cluttered brain, giving me the chance to recenter without all the chaos.

 

“You’ve improved, dearest,” Mother’s soothing voice broken through my practice and I turned to find her standing behind me, hands clasped in front of her as she smiled softly at me. “It’s been too long since I was last able to help you, hasn’t it.”

 

“The guard did what they could,” I shrugged a shoulder before I turned back to my target, sighting down the arrow before releasing it on an exhale. “And Nathaniel helped me a little this week.”   
  


“I’m sure watching other archers helped as well,” Mother agreed. “I know it helped me when I was learning, filing away the little things they do before a shot and then changing it to make it work for me. Some things worked, and some things didn’t, but it never stopped me from trying or doing what I wanted anyway.”

 

“Why do I feel as if we aren’t talking wholly about archery?” I sighed, letting the arrow I was holding slide back into the quiver.

 

“You are very bright, my darling,” Mother smiled, stepping up beside me, her fingers playing with the end of my braid hanging down my back. “I find life and archery very similar. You set your sights on a goal, a target, and do everything in your power to hit your goal. Sometimes you strike true, sometimes you stray, but in the end you find what you need.”

 

“And what do I need, Mother?” I turned to look into a face like mine, but aged, wisdom shining in green eyes like mine. The corners of her mouth lifted in a smile.

 

“You, my girl, need what you have always needed,” her hand caressed my cheek, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “The chance to be yourself, and the freedom to figure that out. From a young age, even before you used to get all muddy and make Delilah cry to Nan, I knew you would never be like the other noble’s daughters. You were too interested in your brother’s activities, his wooden toy sword and shield, the rocking horse so he could play knight. You were never interested in your dolls. Even then, you were you, exactly as you should be.”

 

“Why push me to be a lady?”

 

“That is our society's expectation of you, not mine,” Mother sighed. “I wish I could give you the freedom to do everything you ever wanted, but you will find it hard to survive among the nobles if you don’t at least pretend to play your part in it. We Fereldans may not be as vapid as the Orlesians, so tied into their Game, but we have our own games to play. I’m sorry my darling, it’s unfair to have to walk that line, I know.”

 

“Do you enjoy these titillations?”

 

“Maker, no. It’s why I spend so little time in Denerim and try to conveniently miss as many Landsmeets as possible.”

 

“Really?” I couldn’t help but giggle at my Mother’s frank statement, finding joy in our similar nature.

 

“Really, dearest,” she smile, laughing with me. “But that’s not why I came out here. I noticed your distress with the Prince’s attention.”

 

I sighed, staring at the ground before moving to the target to retrieve my fired arrows. My Mother kept pace beside me, letting me sort my thoughts, as I cleaned up after myself like she taught me.

 

“I’m so confused, Mother,” I begin pulling arrows from the target and returning the arrows to the quiver. “Delilah is telling me to chase two men, and in truth I don’t want to chase.”

 

“Do you want to  _ be _ chased?” Mother prodded gently, beginning to help me remove my arrows.

 

“No!” I answered vehemently before changing my mind. “Well, I don’t know, maybe.”

 

“If it’s the right person,” Mother nodded, in understanding even though I didn’t vocally agree with her statement, I knew she was right.

 

“I uh… I hated being in between Delilah and Prince Cailan, I was uncomfortable being so close to him,” I sighed again, finally pulling the last arrow free from the target to turn to my Mother standing and listening so patiently to me. “But the first night when Nathaniel saved me and we danced…” Mother smiles at my words, taking the bow from my fidgeting fingers so she can hold one of my hands.

 

“With the right person, even hated family traditions can take on a whole new light and joy. I felt the same with your Father.”

 

“Aren’t I too young, Mother?” I finally voiced the question that had been plaguing me the most.

 

“I will admit that you are younger than I would like,” Mother led us to the weapon rack to return my borrowed gear. “But I also know that when it’s right, it’s right and there’s no changing it. If it feels right with the eldest Howe, then it’s not likely to feel right with anyone else. Please don’t fight your heart with your head, my darling, it will only cause you pain. Listen with your heart, temper with your mind, but never allow the two to quarrel. It’s the best way to lead your life, and the people.”

 

“Thank you Mother,” I turned, surprised by her arms suddenly pulling me into her for a hug. “I shall endeavor to remember, always.”

 

“That’s my girl,” she released me from the quick hug, but kept her arm around my waist as we walked back towards the wagons to return to the castle. 

 

I found it a comfort to know my Mother found the politics amongst the nobles just as trying and she wasn’t hard on me simply to be mean, but to ensure I succeeded when forced to be around those outside our portion of the kingdom. A lightness I hadn’t known I missed filled me as we traveled back to the castle together, where the final feast and dance would occur within the great hall among the nobles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends what I wrote during Nanowrimo, I hope to have more for you soon, but it remains unwritten just yet. TTFN fair readers.


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